A lil visual reference to confirm your accurate and wonderfully sarcastic pedantry sir.

If shoving Ivanka off a mountain side wiped out 1 penny of the debt he owes to the Russians, he’d do it in a heartbeat, and his only regret would be that he didn’t get a chance to bang her again before he did.

Spoken like someone who’s never been to Calgary. One of my favorite cities on Earth for food. Alberta will ruin any American’s ability to appreciate a steak back home.

Yep, have definitely heard that one.

When approached for comment, the 90's Dolphins’ mascot remarked:

aaaaand... boom goes the dynamite.

And like 95% of that other 10% can’t roll a good joint.

I’m pretty sure I heard something similar back in the day about dog saliva actually being good for wounds...

If its preserved in some sorta brine ala Futurama, should be able to reach pretty low temperatures without freezer burn.

It’s like walking out into a meadow of fresh mountain air after being trapped in a septic tank for 3 years.

How dare you insinuate that imaginary guns are less dangerous than real guns

It’s the two options to get male GoP attention. If you can’t go the blonde skeletor Fox News-femmebot route, you have to go with the Nailin Palin look.

I had never been so glad that I have to be clean shaven for work.

Currently waiting for someone to make a mash-up video of him saying racist things with quotes from this garbage fire of a monologue spliced in. Will post if found.

I dunno about the drug equivalent of what it is, but watching it requires a delicate balance of Dramamine and Ambien.

To be fair Max, that $40trill in taxes will largely come from money that people are already spending on private healthcare.