Because every single one of his movies is an attempt to justify his real life decisions and going to see his movies validates them.

yup. genius that Woody.

OK I’m not even kidding, wasn’t the LAST ONE that had Emma Stone and Colin Firth in it about a professor and a much younger love interest?

Has there ever been a movie or book about a humanities professor who was not a middle-aged alcoholic sleeping with his young female student? Because I swear I know a lot of nice humanities professors who are happily married to age appropriate people. And sober. Spoiler alert: some humanities professors are not mopey…

This fucker can’t die soon enough

Woody Allen movies are essentially Nicholas Sparks novels for pseudo-intellectuals (or for a better visual, Woody Allen movies are essentially Nicholas Sparks novels with hipster glasses on): they’re formulaic, predictable, enforce shitty sexist stereotypes, are a little squicky, take themselves far too seriously,…

Yeah, because people who want to see Paul Blart are going to read these reviews and be like, whaaaaaa? Not as good as the book?

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 has a subplot constructed around the pick-up artist concept of “negging.”

HOW

$

Who would ever give a tow company a good review?

Thoughts:

>Paul grew testy when pressed in the interview on the question of exceptions. “I gave you about a five-minute answer. Put in my five-minute answer,” he said.

he doesn’t want the NSA tracking you?

ok but what about when a cat sits on you when you’re sleeping and wakes you up

"Oh, I'm sorry. Am I in your way? I'm just trying to watch the father of my child perform on national television."

I once had someone ask me and my friends to stop singing along at a Springsteen show.

So some Indiana businesses could flex their 'religious liberty' by 'confronting government overreach' and not serving/selling to Pence right?