...wait, I'm supposed to have 30-40 scarves?!

I feel bad for wanting to see this. I loathe Franco, but that Emma Watson cameo is so god-damned funny...

I am so glad I'm in grad school. If I had to go back to college now I'd weep.

I had the same thought. Sheesh people. Can't we all just be a little pleasant?

In related news, I'm NEVER GOING TO SOUTH AFRICA.

...and now there's diet ginger ale ALL OVER my laptop.

"Oscar Pistorius is Losing All of His Fashion Endorsement Deals"

Taylor Swift is probably totally nut balls but man I'd love to steal all her makeup and hair tricks. Girl is working this carpet.

When did wearing pink become something that disrupted one's ability to exercise? I mean, I have some red running shorts, and a nice teal windbreaker. Are my colors WRONG?! Would I be MORE FIT if I wore ONLY BLACK?! Help my poor tiny lady-brain understand this totally complicated issue!!!

I am deeply disturbed by this Mango-healthy-cookie thing. Uncool.

Do not tell this guy.

Well I fear for your literacy friend. "Morale" is different from "moral." Perhaps you should have depended a bit more on that government handout (read: public education) so you could tell the difference.

I once asked Mr. Peasant about this, just out of curiosity. His awesome response: "I just love pussy. I don't care about window-dressings. Do as you will."

"Ugh, never mind. Just drink scotch and Robitussin like a real woman already."

Ugh. I choose not to watch her. Instead I watch this.

Agreed. F*ck the lady who left that note. She should be ashamed of herself. I always tip well, but I'll tell you a little story about someone who doesn't.

Oh my goodness this made me so happy. When I heard she was going to be on TDS I was SO excited. Totally paid off. "Blame Bateman." New catchphrase!

"Ginger-haired Skeletor"

Um, this may just be because I only know about First Lady responsibilities from watching The West Wing and Scandal, but doesn't she have like a shit ton of stuff to do as the FLOTUS? Like charity stuff and hunger campaigns and other important things? On top of looking awesome, raising two great kids, probably keeping…

Nice! He seems like someone I can admire from afar for his moxie—up close I might just want to smack him. But from afar, cool dude.