Haha. Yes! that should be the new way that we treat these celebrity mom evangelist types. Love. So hearted.

Cal Thomas has always been a jerk-face. He just gets more press these days because the fringe has managed to hijack media.

Yes. Even if you're saying this ironically I ignore you irony and just cling to the awesomeness of that image.

Ye gods everything about her makes my skin crawl. Those poor Fox 5 people—having to work with such an unprofessional hack must be a nightmare.

Precisely! I don't need to forgive anyone, thanks. He's a creep, he acted like a creep, he REacted like a creep and I'm not Mother Theresa, so, no, I don't have to turn the other cheek and love my enemies. Beating women and whining about being held accountable for it is simply an unforgivable sin in my book. I don't…

I will just keep watching this on loop. That's the kinda awesome this is.

First wine. Then cheese. Now bread. I thought there was some sort of super-healthy French-Women-Are-Thin diet? Methinks something does not add up here...

Not to be that person, but seriously who would have sex with Harry Potter? Maybe its because I grew up with the books and movies—and the kids were little little when I was in my teens—but I feel a bit "To Catch a Predator"-y just reading that DR had sex.

Ha, well that is a persuasive list. Maybe once I'm done Darkmans I'll pick them up.

I've managed to avoid this entire franchise (I CANNOT GET SUCKED INTO SOMETHING ELSE)—but now I want to read them. And I don't even like Lana Del Rey.

Wow. Thanks Jezebel. What a bummer. Should've waited for Valentine's Day to post this.

I'm not part of the media, but I've definitely gotten in my fair share of arguments with people about what a poor excuse for a human being Fassbender is. I don't care who does it—beating women is simply unacceptable. The fact that anyone still has a career—Brown or Fassbender—is a sickening testimony to the problem…

Blurgh. Kelly Osborne is really great at shooting her mouth off, isn't she? I blame E!—as one can for most annoying items in Dirt Bag*. Ever since she started on Fashion Police she's been the worst. No one cares what you think about hair color, doll face. You're a celeb-spawn, not a fashion guru.

Yeah, not a huge Dr. Oz fan—he is the reason my mother calls every few days to inform me that she has some new, awful disease. Between him and WebMD I don't get much of a break from the hypochondria train...

Aw, no. Don't feel that way. Some people are just genetic freaks (see above) and don't have to deal with, say, stubby Polish legs and an unhealthy love for brie. I'm sure you're being too hard on yourself. I do have to admire the un-airbrushed shot though, and kinda scratch my head about why they needed to airbrush at…

Oh my goodness, a sexy rock tweet, an adorable Nathan Fillion tweet, and JOEL MCHALE in LEATHER PANTS & COMMUNITY!!!!! AAAAGH!!!!

Ugh. Sometimes I just want to sit in my bedroom with my cat and my books and pretend the internet doesn't exist. People are dreadful.

Yep, still hot. Much hotter than me. Especially since I just spread a triple creme on a piece of toast for lunch. /no regrets.

I. Love. You. The part about Whole Foods is sooooo true. My boyfriend calls it "Whole Paycheck."

What the what now? Seriously lady? Let me get this straight, you're complaint is as follows: "I'm a really shitty, irresponsible parent, and someone caught me being shitty and irresponsible, and I'm now being held accountable for being shitty and irresponsible, so clearly I should sue the people who caught me."