Your child sounds like equal parts adorable and awesome. Unfortunately, the 9-year-olds I've run into in my neighborhood, the grocery store, and the Y tend to be more like this foul-mouthed candy fiend.

Woah. You were like Buffy the Asshat Slayer as a kid.

I only own comically large purses. On a daily basis, I can't find: advil, tampons, umbrellas, breath mints, tissues, deodorant, a mirror, a hairbrush, chapstick, or a variety of other stuff. I'm pretty sure a gun would also get eaten by the endless cavern that is my bag.

Well that's nice. I don't really own it for them...

Congrats in advance on the 10K. I always think of those as gateway races. I did a few before signing up for a half-marathon (which is not as painful as you might think!).

Affairs are a pretty serious thing—I know a few people who have strayed, and it was never about not getting enough sex in marriage. There were a lot of things going on in the relationship that were unsatisfactory. An affair is generally an on-going sexual and eventually emotional relationship. I won't cast stones at…

Yes. I take back sex from any guy I've slept with who has a secret stash of shitty Nickelback CDs.

Were they on their way to a Slut Walk? Or was it Halloween? The two are so similar I have a hard time telling them apart. Because I'm a woman and therefore stupid.

I was wondering what could make up for another Courtney Stodden post. And then I saw this part of the thread. You all made my day.

As other people noted down thread, the way she sings is actually pretty damaging to her voice. I don't know the particulars (my sister is classically trained, I just show up for the pretty notes!), but if you belt the way Adele does, then you run the risk of serious damaging stuff. I think her voice is beautiful and…

Oh my goodness, I really want to try a savory octopus donut, that sounds awesome.

My head actually hurts from reading this dross. What is wrong with this woman? Between this and the earlier article (which I also just read for the first time), I'm seriously worried about this chick. Is it a self-esteem issue, or a "I want to sit with the boys" issue? Does she really hate women (and herself) that…

Bwhahaha. Excellent.

Poor Adele. I hope she gets better and I REALLY hope it isn't cancer. Yikes. Yes she smokes, and yes, as my brilliant little sister has pointed out, her technique is, um, unorthodox, but I still pull for her.

Yes. Brilliant. This.

Preach it. I was very confused as to how it could be anyone but Indiana Jones/Han Solo.

Amen. Feminists do believe in due process, ya know.

I hate Hollywood. First the Jim Carey Grinch, then the Smurfs, and now this?!

Kittehs, ftw.

Oh no. We can totally mock them. We should. In fact, it is our duty.