Are there no lovely slavic actresses who could play Anna? And why is Keira Knightly repeatedly ruining adaptations of my favorite books? Its like she's going through my bookshelves and picking out the volumes with heavily cracked spines and thinking, "Ah yes, I could seriously fuck this one up with my paltry acting…

Ah, yes, now I remember. I loathe Simon Cowell.

"I can hear you bitches!"

Here here! She is about a 1000 times more attractive the the usual American Apparel models. Can I vote for her for President of Life?

Love this idea. It could also be instant karma for people who invented those stupid ads that follow your mouse...

How much would I pay to sunbathe with Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin? So much more than my pitiable grad stipend, that's for sure.

The evil part of me thought, "Karma for dating my make-pretend husband Alexander Skaarsgard." Seriously though, glad it wasn't a whole tooth, because ow.

I know! History is so hard. Like, anything before 1992 just blends together, you know? The French Revolution, Columbus sailing to the Americas, Jesus dying—all around the same time, amirite?

I know this wasn't done on purpose (or was it?!) but I love that in the recent stories column, Bachmann and that slimeball from Iran are basically doing the same pose. Well played Jezebel, well played.

That would have given me such nightmares as a kid!

Thank you! I can't believe some of the vileness attached to this thread. When I was a teenager working at Waldens (IN THE FRICKIN' MALL) some perv used to come in and pleasure himself in the "art books" (read: fairy porn) section. And look at me. At a suburban mall. Clearly this is not a "NYC isn't safe" issue. And by…

I vote B. Sociopath.

Now this will probably land me on some sort of government watch-list, but...

I want to paint this on the side of a van. Stat.

1. Oh Madonna, get over yourself. You should be thrilled that a young artist looks up to you, especially since everything post-Ray of Light sucks so very, very hard. Coupled with your recent flower snottiness and your omnipresent fake Britishness you're making it hard for me to defend you (must youtube all 80s videos…

Do little kids even know who Michael Jackson and Gene Simmons are?

I've had a stomach virus for a week and I've been subsisting on crackers and ginger ale. I hate these plates for a lot of reasons, but right now, I feel like they're mocking my calorie-challenged diet. STFU Pottery Barn rejects!

This thread makes me want to watch Man v. Food...

Unless it tastes like Rogue's IPA I think I'll pass.

Ugh. Loathsome. I want Theresa to get a job and get free. Hideous man.