Sad thing is...Geno overthrew Lopresti the play before

Barry, he has to live in Iowa...half a mil is a bargain

I could beat Usain Bolt in a sprint when I have to poop...waddling be damned

I give that two swims

“not sure why the Brazilians got mad" -R. Kelly

Absolutely do not purchase a place to live with a significant other...if you do it...rent

Those are not nice cities to visit

Trick question...golf...because the Caiman’s would eat you before you could hit a shot

If there was a baby in the dugout, they should've thrown a beer at it

the real crime is still the hair

How much time do you need to devote to this game per playing session to enjoy it? Really interested, but lack time

Pee yourself so they won't want to touch you

Does masturbating count? If so, Deadspin readers could compete in the Olympics of hand strength

The NFL should've played the music video as the Cowboys took the field on Saturday

Would've liked it even more if you added two more pages on how Tom Hicks is a Dumbass

Aren't they giving them away in Boston? Who is gonna complain?

At least he didn't release any nudes of Barry

"Mo Speights"

Doesn't he mean Engrish?

To be fair, the Chargers will probably ruin this guy by year four, so this argument is logical