*sees Simmons and Fultz on the court together*

The techs may have negated the dunks, but this guy’s arm pump will last for eternity.

When a hot second cousin chanced it with him to get the famous gift basket...

Week 8: Ethics of Music Production and Distribution-- Guest lecture by Maurice Clarett

I believe they call that a Unibourows.

HaHa Splitton-Lips

What barber got the bounty for destroying Gregg Williams’s hair?

Though the defining wood for him this year has been pine. 

*Olivia Wilde angrily swipes Sharpie across her “Next baby’s name” list...*

...” he said, like Bela Karolyi judging a dismount.

Alabama: We’ve done OK with church bombs, German shepherds, apartheid-brand policing, and horrific social services, but damned if you didn’t get it done with some wind sprints, hell yeah we’re picking your brain.

I’d think stories from Bulls practices would be much more brutal.

That wasn’t Kerr’s most important moment on the court with Jordan (that would a ring-winning jump shot Jordan fed him).  

Don’t take it too hard, Malik. Other people have had worse single moments of contact with Jordan on the court. Chuck Driesell, for instance.

Imagine three sentences in a row reaching the length of a novella.

Oat milk sounds like the issue from Gwyneth breastfeeding a Tibetan lama.

Looks like the Bulls should do more gym coolin’ and less...

“A bone don’t tell you what the sound is, right?”

I heard he shat himself and fell after slipping on the spillage, but that may be because I trained my gossip feed generator on his funbags (which sounds sexier than it was).