Shit Major Ass Feel is the Chili Peppers’ worst album.

A carpenter’s hands provide the masochist with a splinterrific rush.

HEN-RY, doomed Bouye!

Which sounds like a tribute to Eddy Grant’s soundtrack song?

The culture of football is ripening the Tau.

Shoulder crabmeat is a great seafood for Bowieabaisse.

It’s like the Morris brothers are the Corsican (Court-see-can? whatever) brothers of starting fast break backward pass plays. A mere two days apart.

Some knob named Gimelstob “laid hands” on paddle tennis players, has been pegged by Kris Thabit, dressed up as Maverick to commit assault...

Hey it’s that yinzer movie star, Paul Crudd!

Bhuffalo Bhabi

I haven’t seen a career this badly derailed by a joint since Douglas Ginsburg.
#DennisMillerJokes

Pictured: How the AFF officials looked at members of the women’s team.

If only America had some male constituency that bowed down to Russia and didn’t mind slinging racist-sounding terms around.

He looks like Smithers and Anderson Cooper procreated.

“Reuben Foster Who Just Do Bad Stuff”
A novel defense, albeit a shitty Sean Penn novel defense.

“Standing dunk” is today’s “giant cow”— not technically true, but still amazing and not worth caviling over.

I would brave the Bad Place to be near Bad Janet.

Marvel fans would throw Clark up there near the top.

“Look, at some point a person needs a wakeup call, a jolt of reality that makes them realize they’re fucking up. I happened to have delivered it, because it’s really all I can do. But I mean, I’m just a stretch of Pittsburgh street pavement. I have no idea how that that motorcycling meathead’s brain reacted. His face…

Maybe Scott Zolak can discuss this tomorrow instead of torturing talk radio listenerS with talk of Pats linebacker HAH-TAHRR