🎶“They’ll be frying pans a flyin’, and some airsoft guns.” 🎶

Rex Ryan (catching his breath from running): You all said anthem controversies (wheeze)...don’t get more (gasp)...what?

Pepe looks like a long, deep hug between Fabio and James Brolin.

The Masshole Stays in the Picture

Ha! Mate!

Are you saying the coach of North Carolina is standing his ground defending a horrible cause, as stubbornly as if some substance on his feet has him stuck in place?

“Square ball” may be a sneer at Ozil’s manifesto “Mein Kraft.”

Herr Jordan might want to go with an excuse that more plausibly checks out, like “I was getting horrific haircuts the whole time. Like I barely coached, just briefly between hair butcherings.”

Dana White’s only MMA-style fight was choking out a black fourth-grader getting bused into Brookline.

The Mild Inconvenience of Jack Nicholson’s Girlfriend’s Improperly Bleached Asshole Lineup.

He looks like some emaciated, decrepit Clegane (The Anthill).

Sweet Jesus. Do they live “upstream” too? Are they literal fish?

After weighing what his presence in the world has meant for people I’d say he’s a net shithead too.

All valid points, but this was just a fish joke my dude.

“Huddle up, men!” — Lynndie England

Sure, judge from your perch.

To be fair, the focus of his ads is to reach his home market, and that alone is an upstream battle.

suspended for five weeks

Looks like Colton Underwhelmed, am I right?
*gets hit with a rolling IV-bag stand*
Hey, you little shit, why don’t you check out that new space movie, Brian’s Song?

Actually, his name is less tainted than ever. He’s fully a dick and an asshole, and no one is confused.