Edelman’s strictly blue-collar, get a new slant.

Trying in vain to scrub your phone’s data to save your spouse’s job.

He quite clearly said “Chief Butt.” — Kellyanne Conway

Look, Zach, the only way Fox is going to represent your religious expression is if you’re standing at full attention on the football field, refusing to give a gay fan a cake.

He already did play a woman.

How did that league manage to have him willingly take steps backward?
— Roger Goodell

I mean, sure, maybe he did get the name “Jumbo” from “jambalaya.”

You could be right.

Nope, and if you’re flying domestically the kids don’t need a passport either. The check-in person usually just reads the ticket and says, “Who is __?” and the kid answers. Have flown dozens of times with my three kids and even when we bring passports for them the only ID’s that are EVER asked for domestically are my…

Brave move, Titanic lifeboat.

I’m having a Ball right now!

Imagine if the Blazers had not just picked Sam Bowie over Jordan but had TRADED UP from #3 with Chicago to pick Bowie #1 (and Chicago got Jordan anyway).

That pitch was even quicker than, “Hello Sharks, I am here to talk about Itchero, the first wifi-enabled hemorrhoidal cream.”

It’s too bad watching only gives him pain, maybe soon he’ll get his swaggart back.

TL;DR

He crossed over and his hamstring went pop. (Digital Underground, kids, look it up)

“But I really expected a few more months out of him. Not really a fan, but I guess I expected him to be around a bit longer.”

Moving tribute. Like he was a fair-to-middling water filter.

Dammit. Anyone that can take away their star for the cause?

That is a meta-star I pray others will respect.

I think it means 1) hand down, 2) MAN DOWN!!