You make up a lot of stories after a tiger devours your rapist.

“FU-U-U-U-LTZ!” — Col. Klank from Hinkie’s Heroes

Nah, we’re doing a lot of harm abroad.

Danny Ainge, reading “begin”:

Man, fuck Duke.
“Everyone but.” — Belle Knox (ed. for spelling, no surprise because I really I know hardly anything about these so-called “porn stars.”
 

“And I hit 6 out of 10 three-pointers so....” — Jason McElwain

“Kinda sad how condescending that applause was once he finally made a jump shot.” — Jason McElwain

And when you’re NOT really good, they call you Cracker Jeff.

That combover at 7:20 should have been the target of any and all heckling for the evening.

They were all a little riled up after their Anne Frank museum tour.

“Purely as a matter of tactics, I humbly suggest that for every five protesters you have four protest the police station and one stay home.”

Like many other basketball coaches, you know how to keep running the same dril.

Most times I hate it when a cracker gets soggy but...

He’s pulling a real Manischewitz move (being a cracker with chutzpah) pinning the tweet instead of deleting it.
You might as well not spend your 15 minutes of fame dealing with screenshots.

The last fleeting hope UVA fans had was the appearance of the final score on the Rolling Stone website.  

To me this performance epitomized a ruthless side of Prince’s personality. This was George Harrison’s memorial. This was not Eric Clapton’s tribute, a wrenching lament that came from deep personal experience (some of it hostile and competitive). This was more like Michael Jordan showing up to John Stockton’s…

You knew as soon as they started conferring that they were too clueless not to fuck it up six ways from Sunday. Reminiscent of the NFL, whose refs basically say to fans, “We’re too cheap to get really good refs, so buckle up.”

He’s stuffing his brain with something...and then dousing it...with a heap of something else...with the result that it’s now fried and useless. Who knows if he talks like that, but I’d hate to see him cook like that.

There’s also the point Sherman has made a couple of times, not even mentioned here— doing it himself had value in and of itself. He has ownership in a way he has not before, and no agent could ever give him that. Is he going to admit that he could have gotten better? No. But in a time when you can’t kneel in protest…

Maybe Rongen is right and everyone else who’s ever seen Messi play and considered him a genius non pareil is wrong, or maybe Rongen, as is the fate of many tap-eaters, has stuffed his mind with so much game footage and needlessly complex theories about how soccer is supposed to be played and has doused all that with a…