After his reception at tonight’s St. Charles parties he’s now called Justin Handy.

Massholes Are Trying To Become Disruptors And It’s The Fucking Worst.

Danny Ainge’s Pornhub is texting Sixers’ front office jpegs of Tatum’s jump shot.

He brought an internet mob to view someone’s loved one, hanging from a tree after they committed suicide. Pretty sure Black Mirror has some things to say about social media fame co-opting everything (e.g. Fifteen Million Merits).

That picture looks like Jake Gyllenhaal right in the middle of going Super Saiyan.

Didn’t know words to anthem. Pretty easy to have predicted, given the dementia. And the fact the guy has no patriotism other than hating dark people.

Clemenza senile is when you forget to take the cannoli.

Ok, but Marseilles will destroy him.

No, Lakers probably understand that basketball teams are like Lance Armstrong, can’t survive with more than one.

Undeterred, she tried a second Mickelson trick, but haplessly ended up paying the correct amount in taxes.

That photo can be a great head-shot in case the NBA doesn’t work out. Legit choice for a live-action Joe Camel.

Ok that’s mean. Let’s just say he looks like the love child of Vin Diesel and a missed three-pointer.

Oh yeah, very soon.

Steve Alford uses printouts of these articles to line his Fleshlight.

I bet ESPN is sneaky paying a big chunk of this salary, just to be rid of the suicide-inducing chemistry black hole between McDonough and Gruden.

“Welcome to figure skating, where a blizzard of white cluelessness will pull you to short, sweet death.”
WAS HE TALKING ABOUT SHOTS <FRIDAY NIGHT> OMG!

(Logan Paul perks up ears)

I know, but sometimes I just WANT to force that slant, not just run a funnier comment right into the Kinja end zone.

Maybe, if Alka-Seltzer was what made Carroll throw a slant on 2nd and goal.

Her look is very interesting, like a caricature artist’s rendition of a real person brought to life.

Look, I’ve said here that his shot is the sequel to “My Left Foot”— he may end up being a dud. But I’d be curious what he’d be in a better situation, without being a stage mom’s Li’l Magic in L.A.