(look of consternation with a tin of biscott) “Oh, I’m sorry— let’s get you Oreos. You must be uncomfortable not knowing what the fuck this long white thing in my hand is. Also you might not recognize these here biscotti.”

Rush Limbaugh ruined Tom Jackson and Chris Berman’s relationship. You could see it on their faces the rest of that season, even after the resignation, and it never returned. I think Jackson felt so betrayed by the backbackbackbencher just goofily trying to get along with Rush after his comment. Jackson never quite…

(pat, pat)

When asked if he felt insulted by people mocking his wardrobe malfunction, Urban said it felt like a real slap in the thigh.  

Xtacular shot from that frisky dingo.

Dutch gymnasts should call getting knocked out by a high bar “a few hours at the coffee shop.”

If 5 pts, 7 rebounds, 8 assists is “triple double like” then making 50K is six-figure like. 

This old man would love to see the first item on his wrestling Spotify Time Capsule: the Figure Four.

This reminds me, I hope a lot of people are preparing for the new Blade Runner by watching the original.

“Beautiful” does not even begin to describe his star-turn as the pool guy in Pullman Community Theater’s “Mulholland Drive.”

Such stark whiteness against a brown environment, providing them with a feast.

Can’t wait for the Japanese game show Sashimi Plate 5000 Wahhhh?!!! where a person has to keep the attached shark alive long enough for everyone to finish eating it.

Can you all stop flogging this point?

Kind of like when some jackwagon got hot comic nachos dumped on his head by Seth Meyers then became leader of the free world.

I still dream that it will overcome.

Before tonight, the closest Jerry Jones had come to being a Texan who co-opts civil rights movements was when he got a consolatory BJ after an L.

“Goldy rushing down the left sideline, here comes LT for the tackle...OH MY GOODNESS, Goldy keeps on trucking to the end zone, LT has been shot by security!!”

Hey, Moses Malone, if they get one more Okafor what will they have?

At this point just hoping they don’t invite James Alex Fields to wave the green flag.