Lesson learned.  Stop taking pictures of your fucking food.  Just eat it.

I'll be honest, the last time I even noticed a home kitchen in a male directed movie was in Paul Feig's A Simple Favor. Can we get more real estate kitchen porn in movies in general?

QUIT PRESSURING ME MOM!!!

Call me crazy, but I just don’t think you should use a belt on your kids.

I used to do this, but after 10 years of sobriety I give no fucks. I get my big-ass diet coke, and if someone asks why I’m not drinking, I tell them I don’t want to. If they won’t let go, I tell them I’m an alcoholic with 10 years of sobriety, and if I were going to relapse, it would be on better booze with better…

I read it in Arnold’s voice (as I do with everything - sometimes it gets weird when reading my wife’s texts but that’s another matter) and got the reference immediately.

I have to admit that I almost feel bad for attacker, I mean aside from the potential mental health issues there. This is your moment of fame where you dropkicked a 70-year old man from the back and he barely felt your attack.

OW ME BACK

Some people just find a look and spend the rest of their lives trying to capitalize on it, though the baby-doll look doesn’t tend to age well...

My five year old granddaughter LOVES Jojo Siwa, and is allowed to look at her Instagram page on my phone. Some of those comments were truly heinous, although not too surprising, given this is the internet.

I, for one, am outraged and will never be patronising <scrolls back up> fashion app Dote again.

And they said the height of British navel supremacy ended years ago. 

I’ll steal all the Hennessey you got on ya shelf...

In the early 2000s it wasn’t called social media and it didn’t look or feel anything like it does today. Also, people with pre-existing depression are allowed to have public facing jobs or personas and people who pursue public personas are allowed to develop depression from the ensuing stress of success or people…

I proofread them, run them through Grammarly, proofread them again, and then wait for the comments section to tell me what I missed. Thanks. Will edit.

WHO IS SELLING IT TO THEM? PABLO ESCARGOBAR?

As a former hairdresser and nail tech I’ve always been proud that salons are traditionally the oldest safe spaces for women, gays and non binary folk. Having worked in them for many years I can say with confidence that if it’s the right type of salon, most men will avoid them at all costs. Better even yet is your…

Sorry I can’t stop thinking about this but like, wearing something most men would consider “unsexy” is a huge plus in a lot of cases. The one night I went out dressed sexy I got “did you see the tits on that?” and other charming comments so I’m pretty okay with being unsexy when I’m trying to get to my hotel after a…

Also overalls are very in right now. I got mistaken for a French person five times on the day I wore them around Cannes.

This would work if women’s pockets weren’t uselessly tiny.