Huh. I just happen to be at a Regal right now, and they already have signs up trying to convince me to try this today, not Friday. Recreational weed is already legal here, so that might have something to do with it.

Aw, fuck, vacation brain has already set in.

It’s only fitting considering who owns the real 666 Park Avenue building.

Nah, really good anti-reflective coating or photo editing. His eyes are fairly magnified behind those lenses, which tells me the lenses are prescription and that he is far-sighted. (I’m extremely near-sighted, so my lenses make my eyes look smaller. I’m always jealous of people who don’t have this problem.)

I’m waiting for a Sephora order: the Gimme Some Bold Lip set and the Juliette Has a Gun travel spray set. They had a bunch of mini lipsticks in the point rewards section, and I was going to get the lip set anyway, *and* I had the $20 VIB coupon, so I felt like the universe aligned itself to tell me to go for it.

Six of one, half dozen of the other.

Trust me: Just because you’re not actually stoned at work doesn’t mean your mind isn’t working on a “this would be good if I was high” frequency a good chunk of the time. (I work at a bank and frequently go weeks without smoking up, but my brain *always* turns snack duty over to my inner seventeen-year-old pothead.)

Reminder: The Starbucks headquarters are in Seattle, which is in Washington state, where recreational weed is legal. I do not think it is a coincidence.

“Also, I predict that shirt will badly dated within two weeks anyway.”

I saw a trailer for this at a theatre, and a woman in the audience yelled, “Fuck Johnny Depp!” And it was a morning screening, and it was not a rowdy crowd. It brought me great joy.

The fact that they have an extremely pared-down selection is a huge draw for me. I can get in and get out in ten minutes.

And now we know why Bryan Singer is “taking care of an ailing parent”!

Aww, my mom should have known it was A Sign when she realized I was teaching myself how to read by reading Patty Heart coverage in the newspaper. I was three years old at the time. I really hope this film happens before this planet goes all pink vapor stew.

I’m going to go ahead and do something I pretty much *never* do: Quote the Bible. “The love of money is the root of all evil.” Now I’ll go ahead and do something I do all the time: Cuss. Fuck you, Grassley.

Small success of the week: I found TWO pairs of jeans that fit decently today! They were on the clearance rack, and the clearance rack was BOGO, and one of the pairs was so cheap that I went back to the clearance racks for more stuff and found a bra in my size! And then I got an eyeliner to make things even, and I got…

The part where he was behaving normally was the most shocking and revealing part of Interior. Leather Bar. to me. It really showed that *everything* he does is a performance.

There is nothing about this anecdote that surprised me except the fact that he also wore facial prosthetics. For some reason, that seems weird. This whole thing seemed like a surreal performance art project, and I look forward to the inevitable matryoshka of behind-the-scenes footage sure to come.

This is what we do at my office. Last year, it didn’t happen because budget, but the other years (including this one), we go to a nearby restaurant for lunch at 11am, have a sit down lunch, and go home. We do have limits on alcohol after The Incident, but there are always extra tickets floating around for one reason…

When she was eight years old? I’m thinking you mean Ivana, the first wife and mother of the unholy trio.

My translation: The door lock button wasn’t installed in my desk. It was a remote control I carried with me.