Dear KFC: Please provide this motherfucker with a constant supply of gravy and extra-crispy. Clearly, the only way this creature can be stopped is with a heart attack or stroke since the people who are supposed to take care of this are too busy pulling a Chip Diller.

BRB gotta go brainstorm my dream Ooga Boo eyeshadow. Spoiler: THERE WILL BE GLITTER.

I read “dead in his face” as “dead center,” as in perfectly positioned precisely in the middle of his face. He very specifically needs to not be dead so he can be denied any painkillers after the punch.

Hmm. I’ve got a feeling that the last paragraph is going to be key here. It is my understanding that companies have to go after *all* infringement, so I would not be surprised to hear they lost their trademark as a result of this case since they didn’t go after the dog business.

She also signed a bill making personal-use drug possession a misdemeanor instead of a felony!

Damn, I used to have this a few years ago when it was $35/month and thought it was a good deal, but then I stopped going to as many movies as I used to, so it stopped being worth the money and I canceled. I was just thinking the other day about seeing if it was still a thing since I’ve started going to more movies…

Oh, I’m not about to buy it for multiple reasons. I don’t like the Everlasting formula, and I’m not buying anything he has anything to do with. I’m having a hard time deciding whether to continue buying Wet n Wild because they sent their Midnight Mermaid collection to him for review first.

Funny thing: At almost the exact same time that this post went up, Jouer sent me an email informing me they have a collaboration with J* coming out. Welp. Not buying Jouer any more. That apology video is bullsht, and it doesn’t even address any if his non-racist bullying behavior.

It was KvD. She basically disowned him as a friend and pulled the shade she created for him from Sephora stores, and then I don’t think she has spoken about him since. You can still get that lipstick from Sephora online, though.

Wait. WAIT. Good Omens on Amazon starring DAVID MOTHERFUCKING TENNANT AS CROWLEY? I had no idea this was remotely on the horizon. I am ready.

There was a documentary about ten years ago called Who Needs Sleep? by one of the greatest cinematographers of all time, Haskell Wexler, about how sleep deprivation is really fucking bad, and since he was in the film industry, he focused mainly on film crews, if my understanding of the film is correct. I keep meaning…

I counted eleven sentences containing “I” and zero sentences without it. Just saying.

Dude, she wasn’t even in elementary school. She was four, which translates to me as *pre*-school. Nothing that happens before kindergarten should be brought up once you hit double digits. NOTHING. Not even my nephew’s conviction that he *would* become a Highlander (yes, as in the movie/tv series) and practiced sword…

So, hey, any of my fellow olds remember a song by a female rapper circa 1987 or so called “Murder, She Wrote”? I’ve trying to remember who it was for ages now, and I just keep drawing blanks. Trying to look it up only leads to Angela Lansbury, who is awesome, but she’s not the woman I’m looking for in this particular…

I’ve met a surprising number of people who get migraines because of it. We all have that gene that makes it taste like soap and a history of various kinds of migraines triggered by other things, so I’m convinced there’s a link between that gene and migraines.

YES. Except I want lipstick and eyeshadow, not nail polish. (Yes, I wear red eyeshadow.)

I don’t dare even set foot in a Chipotle because of that. Cilantro is a migraine trigger for me, and I’m convinced it’s so finely chopped there that it’s airborne, so I’ll inhale it, and FUCKING PAIN will ensue.

This. Fitzgerald’s investigation took two years, and I think Watergate and the Starr investigators took the same amount of time. This nightmare is unfolding at breakneck speed compared to those. And I’ve read enough true crime to know that you never know anything is going on until the whole thing breaks wide open. I…

Yeah, Andrew Weissman — the SAME FUCKING GUY who flipped Sammy the Bull.

They are absolutely going for RICO. Don’t forget: Mueller brought in attorneys who flipped mobsters and cracked organized crime syndicates. If I recall correctly, one of those flipped mobsters was Sammy “the Bull” Gravano, and his testimony brought down John Gotti. You don’t accidentally turn the underboss of the…