Funny thing: At almost the exact same time that this post went up, Jouer sent me an email informing me they have a collaboration with J* coming out. Welp. Not buying Jouer any more. That apology video is bullsht, and it doesn’t even address any if his non-racist bullying behavior.

It was KvD. She basically disowned him as a friend and pulled the shade she created for him from Sephora stores, and then I don’t think she has spoken about him since. You can still get that lipstick from Sephora online, though.

Wait. WAIT. Good Omens on Amazon starring DAVID MOTHERFUCKING TENNANT AS CROWLEY? I had no idea this was remotely on the horizon. I am ready.

There was a documentary about ten years ago called Who Needs Sleep? by one of the greatest cinematographers of all time, Haskell Wexler, about how sleep deprivation is really fucking bad, and since he was in the film industry, he focused mainly on film crews, if my understanding of the film is correct. I keep meaning…

I counted eleven sentences containing “I” and zero sentences without it. Just saying.

Dude, she wasn’t even in elementary school. She was four, which translates to me as *pre*-school. Nothing that happens before kindergarten should be brought up once you hit double digits. NOTHING. Not even my nephew’s conviction that he *would* become a Highlander (yes, as in the movie/tv series) and practiced sword…

So, hey, any of my fellow olds remember a song by a female rapper circa 1987 or so called “Murder, She Wrote”? I’ve trying to remember who it was for ages now, and I just keep drawing blanks. Trying to look it up only leads to Angela Lansbury, who is awesome, but she’s not the woman I’m looking for in this particular…

I’ve met a surprising number of people who get migraines because of it. We all have that gene that makes it taste like soap and a history of various kinds of migraines triggered by other things, so I’m convinced there’s a link between that gene and migraines.

YES. Except I want lipstick and eyeshadow, not nail polish. (Yes, I wear red eyeshadow.)

I don’t dare even set foot in a Chipotle because of that. Cilantro is a migraine trigger for me, and I’m convinced it’s so finely chopped there that it’s airborne, so I’ll inhale it, and FUCKING PAIN will ensue.

This. Fitzgerald’s investigation took two years, and I think Watergate and the Starr investigators took the same amount of time. This nightmare is unfolding at breakneck speed compared to those. And I’ve read enough true crime to know that you never know anything is going on until the whole thing breaks wide open. I…

Yeah, Andrew Weissman — the SAME FUCKING GUY who flipped Sammy the Bull.

They are absolutely going for RICO. Don’t forget: Mueller brought in attorneys who flipped mobsters and cracked organized crime syndicates. If I recall correctly, one of those flipped mobsters was Sammy “the Bull” Gravano, and his testimony brought down John Gotti. You don’t accidentally turn the underboss of the…

This. It may actually prevent me from watching. My hope is that, as a stoner sitcom, the laugh track is placed at completely random and borderline inappropriate spots. Because that would work for me more than a traditional laugh track here.

Nah, the word already exists and has existed since something like the 17th century. Kakistocracy. Government by the worst people.

Ooh, this was the first R-rated movie I saw in a theatre by myself! I was fifteen. My twelve-year-old brother was supposed to go with me, but the very, very old guy at the theatre wouldn’t let him in because the bro was clearly too young, so he and our dad went to the army surplus store, and I missed the cold open. I…

There’s a probably-going-to-be-upscale hotel going up across the street from my office. I fully expect that we’re going to be dealing with this once it opens in a few months. I’m thinking we will be going the insult route: make up some big Olympics-style score cards in posterboard and give very low scores.

This is my Mr. Handsome! His name is Oscar. He is a handsome and dapper gentleman.

I literally laughed and slapped my knee when I saw the news pop up! I mean, yeah, we’re all still utterly and royally fucked, so it’s a gallows humor sort of thing, but gallows humor is better than nothing at this point.

Exactly. Except this was the skunky kind of smell that indicates bad weed. I’m really spoiled by living in a a state where recreational weed is legal, and you get used to identifying quality and results by smell. This was the shitty kind of skunk weed smell that leads to nothing but headaches and regrets, which is why…