Thank you! Really, I just know where to shop. And am lucky enough to have a job where they don’t bat an eye at these.

It just takes a little practice. Now they’re easier than painting my nails, plus when it’s too hot and humid for nail polish to cure properly, these completely sidestep that issue. I can’t remember the last time I actually painted my nails. More than a year ago, probably.

This week’s nails, for the Fourth of July: The Federalist Papers! From Espionage Cosmetics. This is what almost a week’s wear (applied Sunday night) on these babies look like:

I’m noticing that this female pirate is specifically a redhead. Which brings only two words to my mind: Anne Bonny.

The reason he doesn’t know “To infinity and beyond!” is because it’s a message of optimism and hope. He knows nothing about either of these concepts.

Ugh, I’m starting S5 and remembering what an utter slog Arya’s storyline is when she’s training. Oh, and what an utter disappointment the Dorne stuff is. On the up side, at least I do remember things well enough to know when I don’t have to really pay attention.

She has stated all she eats is salmon and capers, so there’s that.

I’m tranquilizing my cats, reading Lovecraft Country, and watching various forms of video entertainment. Game of Thrones, makeup videos, whatever sounds appealing at that particular moment. I’m not willing to dose the cats unless I’m home, and they freak the fuck out at the noise that I’m hoping isn’t quite enveloping…

Alternate theory: He was watching Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, and Blonde and got the idea from Sally Field’s character when she claims to have gotten a facial at a particular point in time. When she said that, I thought that, wait, your face would be super red after that. There’s no way you would have done this…

Damn, his stage presence is so compelling I was tearing up when he was just talking about his background before the music even *started*. Once he actually started singing, I could practically *hear* Simon Cowell mentally preparing the recording contract. And also wondering if I had any eyeliner left because the tears…

Halsey: Major east/west thoroughfare in Portland. It will take you al the way from Trader Joe’s to Fred Meyer to Target to the Edgefield (hotel/restaurant/amphitheater/distillery). THIS IS THE ONLY HALSEY I NEED.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen it. As far as I’m concerned, that’s where the series ended. It’s my favorite Indiana Jones movie. Yes, that means I love it even more than Raiders of the Lost Ark.

I hope you like them! They’re one of my favorite companies right now (I forgot to mention that their lip balms are my favorite lip balm, too), and when they have a new product launch or sale, I can get into a huge amount of trouble because I just start throwing everything into my cart. Budget? What’s that? Some sort…

Thank you for the support! I am actually picking it up right this very second. That shower is going to feel really nice after this nastiness.

Are you using an overnight lip mask/salve sort of thing or just lip balm? I use Notoriously Morbid (yes, one of my favorite indie brands) Slumber Salve every single night. I’m one of those people who needs goo on their lips at all times, and most lip balms wear off during the night, but not Slumber Salve. I wipe it…

It’s really hot here. Like almost a hundred degrees, which I know isn’t a big deal in, like, Arizona, but I’m in Portland. It’s surface-of-the-sun weather for us. But! My boyfriend Jon Snow (pictured below) has been hard at work making the tv room a much more tolerable mid-70s, so I have been watching makeup videos on…

Wow, I find it super fascinating that two virtually identical shoes can look so different. And by that, I mean that somehow the original shoe looks elegant, and the ripoff looks super gaudy and trashy. The floof across the top of the foot is much neater on the original (the ripoff looks like a catnip-infused feather…

Nevermind. Others beat me to the info. For some reason, Kinja didn’t want to load those comments until after I posted my response.

One time at trivia night a few years ago, you had to identify reality shows by cutouts of the cast photo. There was one I totally guessed at since I have no idea what any of those shows’ cast photos look like, and neither did any of my teammates. I guessed Real Housewives of some random city. It was Keeping Up With…

My summer reading list looks like that of a serial killer in training: