This week’s nails, for the Fourth of July: The Federalist Papers! From Espionage Cosmetics. This is what almost a week’s wear (applied Sunday night) on these babies look like:

Ugh, I’m starting S5 and remembering what an utter slog Arya’s storyline is when she’s training. Oh, and what an utter disappointment the Dorne stuff is. On the up side, at least I do remember things well enough to know when I don’t have to really pay attention.

She has stated all she eats is salmon and capers, so there’s that.

I’m tranquilizing my cats, reading Lovecraft Country, and watching various forms of video entertainment. Game of Thrones, makeup videos, whatever sounds appealing at that particular moment. I’m not willing to dose the cats unless I’m home, and they freak the fuck out at the noise that I’m hoping isn’t quite enveloping…

Alternate theory: He was watching Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, and Blonde and got the idea from Sally Field’s character when she claims to have gotten a facial at a particular point in time. When she said that, I thought that, wait, your face would be super red after that. There’s no way you would have done this…

Damn, his stage presence is so compelling I was tearing up when he was just talking about his background before the music even *started*. Once he actually started singing, I could practically *hear* Simon Cowell mentally preparing the recording contract. And also wondering if I had any eyeliner left because the tears…

Halsey: Major east/west thoroughfare in Portland. It will take you al the way from Trader Joe’s to Fred Meyer to Target to the Edgefield (hotel/restaurant/amphitheater/distillery). THIS IS THE ONLY HALSEY I NEED.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen it. As far as I’m concerned, that’s where the series ended. It’s my favorite Indiana Jones movie. Yes, that means I love it even more than Raiders of the Lost Ark.

I hope you like them! They’re one of my favorite companies right now (I forgot to mention that their lip balms are my favorite lip balm, too), and when they have a new product launch or sale, I can get into a huge amount of trouble because I just start throwing everything into my cart. Budget? What’s that? Some sort…

Thank you for the support! I am actually picking it up right this very second. That shower is going to feel really nice after this nastiness.

Are you using an overnight lip mask/salve sort of thing or just lip balm? I use Notoriously Morbid (yes, one of my favorite indie brands) Slumber Salve every single night. I’m one of those people who needs goo on their lips at all times, and most lip balms wear off during the night, but not Slumber Salve. I wipe it…

It’s really hot here. Like almost a hundred degrees, which I know isn’t a big deal in, like, Arizona, but I’m in Portland. It’s surface-of-the-sun weather for us. But! My boyfriend Jon Snow (pictured below) has been hard at work making the tv room a much more tolerable mid-70s, so I have been watching makeup videos on…

Wow, I find it super fascinating that two virtually identical shoes can look so different. And by that, I mean that somehow the original shoe looks elegant, and the ripoff looks super gaudy and trashy. The floof across the top of the foot is much neater on the original (the ripoff looks like a catnip-infused feather…

Nevermind. Others beat me to the info. For some reason, Kinja didn’t want to load those comments until after I posted my response.

One time at trivia night a few years ago, you had to identify reality shows by cutouts of the cast photo. There was one I totally guessed at since I have no idea what any of those shows’ cast photos look like, and neither did any of my teammates. I guessed Real Housewives of some random city. It was Keeping Up With…

My summer reading list looks like that of a serial killer in training:

I *still* can’t believe my brother, our cousins, and I never got injured with lawn darts. We played with them pretty much every single time we were at our grandparents’ house, and my brother and I are legendary in our ability to injure ourselves at any time.

She is the Holocaust survivor, not him. I think that detail was added to point out that she went through *that* living hell, and she’s still getting insulted, humiliated, and generally treated like shit due to someone’s else’s beliefs.

That bikini bottom is shoved *way* too far up her ass crack to be comfortable. I am feeling a sympathetic wedgie just *looking* at it. Yes, I am middle-aged. And very, *very* thankful that the big fashion trend when I was her age was grunge.

I can just *hear* the calf’s inner monologue: MOOOOOOM, my friends are *right there*! Sigh. Maybe they won’t notice me if I stand completely still and pretend she’s not here.