About the granola thing, uh, since when are either of those two granola? I’m still trying to wrap my head around that one. Does it mean something different to the kids today than it did in the ‘90s?

Totally coincidentally, I plan on making her lasagna this weekend! It’s the recipe my mom used when I was a kid. I’m making a few changes, but I don’t think they’re super significant: use ground turkey instead of beef because I can’t eat beef, add Italian sausage because my brother tried that a few weeks ago and…

If I have to come in contact with his skin or any of his bodily fluids, absolutely not. If I could take humiliating photos of him in various positions and sell them for large amounts of money (still without having to actually touch him) that would cause him to hide away for the rest of his life, we can negotiate. I…

Nope. You can’t copyright book or movie titles.

I think it’s more about the ten-year-old kids who want to do something nice for their mom but who can’t cook. Going out for brunch on Mother’s Day is also hugely popular for basically the same reason.

Oh my god. This is absolutely magical. I’ll absolutely be reading it this weekend.

Aww, I’m finding myself really happy the JoGoLev and his wife are having another baby. Not so much because of him but because a female robotics engineer raising multiple kids means more children having that be a normal thing in their lives, not some weird “girls can be good at math?” (question mark deliberate)…

Yes, but they will provide the feral pigs for you to hunt.

Random thought: I think we have a new “I would watch/listen to [whoever] read the phone book.” It takes a super fan to be willing to endure this book read by a favorite voice. Or I might just have a codeine-resistant headache that is making me think up extra weird shit.

Yes. Funneling an even more astounding amount of money to insurance companies via increased premiums.

Of course it’s staged. The way you can tell without doing any further investigation comes down to one word: afterbirth. That kid does not look like it was dunked in a vat of strawberry jam.

Five minutes before reading this, I asked a coworker about customers sending something like this to him! The reason I asked him (after I forwarded them to our abuse group) is because we had to start using a certain program at work yesterday, and I was wondering if it had anything to do with that program because the…

Bank here. Except I deal with customers in behalf of clients (we service equipment leases), so they don’t actually know we’re a bank, and one of the customers I received this from is a tiny espresso place in an equally tiny town in Minnesota, so I think it’s just propagating itself to everyone at this point.

*cough* I bought a nail polish I’m not going to identify (it was an indie polish made in a very small batch) and TWO eyeshadow palettes from Espionage Cosmetics because I’m a sucker for aqua eyeshadow, and both of them have one. The palettes just went on sale for pre-order today, and I think they’re shipping in…

He has accomplished something I was sure would never, ever be possible: He has single-handedly made me nostalgic for both Nixon and George W. Bush. I can actually say the latter’s name with the word “president” in the same sentence without sarcasm now.

And he didn’t write that song. And he wasn’t the first artist to record it. He’s basically the Manfred Mann’s Earth Band of country music.

The NARS was in one of my Sephora Play boxes, so I already know I like that one! I’ve actually been wanting a second mini tube of it to keep in my desk at work because it’s really one of the best MLBB shades I’ve tried.

YES. I always say I’m going to really focus and do things (usually of an apartment-cleaning nature), and then I end up spending the whole weekend drinking tea and reading or (more typically) watching an entire season of something on Netflix.

I totally forgot about the Sephora sale, but all I was going to buy was an eyeliner, and I realized I could just swap out my almost-gone stub for the almost-new one I had in my desk at work, and voila! No rush for that new pencil after all! Now I just need to convince the cashier at Sephora to accept my Play pass…

I got completely mixed up on my dates and thought it had started last night. This made me sad when I realized I couldn’t watch it yet. BUT! Starz is now on my AppleTV! Which means I don’t have to watch it on my laptop or stream it from my phone to my tv anymore! Whoo!