I think of it as Lollapalooza meets H&M in hell, sponsored by Absolut, Sephora, BMW, and American Express.

I feel like I’m cheating on mine when I merely drive by one!

What is life good for if not spending it with kitties? My idea of a vacation is spending a week at home hanging out with my monsters watching HBO or Netflix. I’m currently watching Game of Thrones with one of them sitting on my chest. I’m probably fifteen seconds from getting groomed.

 That Jennifer Garner story is missing important facts! Like what kind of kitties did she hang out with? Which ones did she give head skritches to, how many gently headbutted her (out of love, of course), and which ones demanded belly rubs? Were there wrasslin’ kitties, just like there are in my living room right this…

Ugh, Target has been pulling some bullshit with their post-holiday candy markdowns the past few years, at least in my area. They don’t start marking down until a day or two afterwards, and then it’s only 25%. Then the following weekend, they go down 33%. Then the weekend after *that*, it’s finally half price. TWO…

We don’t really do Easter in my family. Even growing up, once I hit twelve or so, my parents stopped Easter baskets. I kind of think they did it more for themselves because they really liked Easter candy, but the overall family interest waned. We did do to Easter brunch at a local hotel for a few years (which I loved…

I meant when specifically. As in at the end of April, so a two-week delay would block them? Kind of like how crisis pregnancy centers have been known to lie to pregnant women solely to delay the women long enough for it to be too late for a legal abortion. Or at the end of May, so it would just make things even more…

Yeah, super mixed feelings at the end of it. On one hand, John B asked for a radio producer to do a show about his town. On the other hand, it’s kind of like Capturing the Friedmans. That was the documentary that the director started with the intent of making a documentary about clowns who performed at kids’ parties,…

I finished last week! Holy crap, it ended in a place I never, ever saw coming. I don’t want to say anything else for fear of being too spoilery, but I thought it got even more fascinating towards the end than it was in the beginning.

I’ve got the one with that liner, the Smashbox primer that I’m pretty sure they sent out last summer, Purity cleanser, and makeup remover coming. *So* peeved. But they’ve followed shit boxes with great boxes, so I’m holding off on whether to cancel for another month or two.

It happened to me several years ago at Disneyworld with my dad, my brother, his wife, and their kids. I proceeded to wash my hair out in a restroom sink using hand soap. I got some *very* strange looks. Fortunately, I have a pixie, so my family didn’t even have enough time to finish their frozen lemonades before I got…

Do we know when these drugs are going to expire? Because I’m thinking that this could easily mean that this whole execution spree plan will be shot to shit due to this sort of delay. And I’m totally good with that.

River Joe and Charlie Ocean sound like compromise names. Hipster parent wants oldschool classic names, and hippie parent wants nature names. First name is one kind of name, middle name is the other, and they alternate placement with each kid.

When the Mountain Dew “huge foaming event” hit the news earlier this week, I realized that the Pepsi ad could have been worse: The cops could have hooked up a fire hose and sprayed the crowd with Pepsi. Like kids playing in a fire hydrant! Or, you know, like this:

I could swear that this is also what Kate Middleton does with George and Charlotte. Those are the kids’ names, right? I just realized I’m not sure. And I’m also not sure who her husband is. Prince... William? Who’s the other one? Harry? Or is that a member of One Direction? (And I’m totally cool with being fuzzy on…

One of my coworkers asked what do we do if someone (she specifically mentioned North Korea, but I’m not sure it really makes a difference) starts launching nukes. My answer: Die quickly, if we’re lucky. We’re in Portland, so we would have a combination of potential direct strikes, nuclear fallout, and seismic activity…

True, but the point I’m making is that LOOK! SQUIRREL!

Exactly. They probably started mobilizing everything as soon as they realized the news was going to come out, and the gap of a few hours is due to transit time.

Has anyone else noticed this happened THE SAME DAY it was reported that the US accidentally killed eighteen US-backed fighters in Syria due to a misdirected airstrike?

I have been seriously wondering this very thing for months now. Like “China will make sure we make it to 2019 for Part Two, right? RIGHT?”