Adult. Because at least I can drink without getting in trouble and afford weed (and I live in the largest city of a legal weed state, so I can easily find a place to buy it at any time). I grew up during the Reagan era in a town that had precisely zero respect for the value of education, so I feel like I got the…

You just reminded me that the beer shop across the street from my apartment has some sort of magical elixir that is like an Arnold Palmer, but with HARD CIDER instead of lemonade. In a two-liter bottle. I just have to hope that they’re not sold out before I get home!

You mean my friends are drunkards who make up rules because they can’t deal with almost six solid weeks without alcohol? *clutches pearls*

And potatoes. Lots of potatoes. Or colcannon: potatoes *and* cabbage in one convenient dish!

I’m not Catholic, but my understanding is that there’s usually a special dispensation for St. Patrick’s Day, which is one of the reasons it’s become an absolute overindulgent boozefest.

This guy acts like a dog. He follows me from room to room and even from one part of the room to the other. I’m fairly certain he’s my black lab we had when I was in high school, reincarnated in a form I can have in my yard-free apartment-living situation:

YES. I was going to post this exact same thing. Or a three-part question where the parts *are* related, but the premise of the question is fundamentally flawed. I go to comic cons, and it seems like there’s a guy (and it’s always a guy) in every Stan Lee panel trying to flex his knowledge muscles to out-comic geek all…

I do not find it coincidental that MAGA is what a crow calls out right before it takes a massive shit on your head.

Reading this article and focusing my mind on trolls finally made me realize why this statement felt really, really familiar:

I always forget Jeepers Creepers even exists, which is why it’s not on my list.

I laughed at his name showing up here, but that’s because my immediate thoughts were (in this order) the hacker from that one Die Hard sequel, Drew Barrymore’s ex-boyfriend, and those computer commercials I totally get mixed up with those other computer commercials.

Given my family’s history, they sound like a cracked molar waiting to happen to me.

Dude, YouTube clips of this show are too much of it for me. This is what fucking *gifs* are for.

I’m really interested in seeing what the show’s ratings were like. In fact, I’m almost more curious about that than what was actually revealed. One of the big arguments (if not that main one) against releasing the returns now has been that no one is interested in seeing them. If there was in fact a ratings bump, that…

My guess is that the psycho 50 Shades fandom went batshit on him for dropping out of THEIR MOVIE! They were rabid about wanting Matt Bomer in it for a while, too.

This might dox me, but my sister-in-law found out my nephew was sneaking out of bed during his naps to sit quietly in the dining room while my brother watched adult (that is, R-rated and/or thematically not appropriate for three-year-olds) movies in the living room when she told the kid to do something, and he replied…

Aw, man, I misread that as Jax Teller. Such disappointment on multiple levels.

My rule: Never *ever* get a tattoo representing another person unless you’re related by blood. Exception: adoption, and only then if you’re the adoptive parent. I just realized that this exception could be interpreted to refer to Angelina Jolie, but I was actually thinking of Ewan McGregor when I came up with it. Ink…

I blame the director for the failings of Keanu. It wasn’t Jordan Peele. Yeah, the director worked on almost every episode of Key and Peele, but he had no business doing a full-length film.

My guess is that it’s not the first time someone has *thought* about it — but it’s the first time someone has been able to *secure funding* to do it. If it was any production company other than Blumhouse, I don’t think this movie would have ever been made. They’re willing to take risks other companies won’t because,…