Dude, YouTube clips of this show are too much of it for me. This is what fucking *gifs* are for.

I’m really interested in seeing what the show’s ratings were like. In fact, I’m almost more curious about that than what was actually revealed. One of the big arguments (if not that main one) against releasing the returns now has been that no one is interested in seeing them. If there was in fact a ratings bump, that…

My guess is that the psycho 50 Shades fandom went batshit on him for dropping out of THEIR MOVIE! They were rabid about wanting Matt Bomer in it for a while, too.

This might dox me, but my sister-in-law found out my nephew was sneaking out of bed during his naps to sit quietly in the dining room while my brother watched adult (that is, R-rated and/or thematically not appropriate for three-year-olds) movies in the living room when she told the kid to do something, and he replied…

Aw, man, I misread that as Jax Teller. Such disappointment on multiple levels.

My rule: Never *ever* get a tattoo representing another person unless you’re related by blood. Exception: adoption, and only then if you’re the adoptive parent. I just realized that this exception could be interpreted to refer to Angelina Jolie, but I was actually thinking of Ewan McGregor when I came up with it. Ink…

I blame the director for the failings of Keanu. It wasn’t Jordan Peele. Yeah, the director worked on almost every episode of Key and Peele, but he had no business doing a full-length film.

My guess is that it’s not the first time someone has *thought* about it — but it’s the first time someone has been able to *secure funding* to do it. If it was any production company other than Blumhouse, I don’t think this movie would have ever been made. They’re willing to take risks other companies won’t because,…

I’m pretty sure the rating is largely for language: You can only say “fuck” once in a PG-13 movie. I can’t remember for sure, but it seem so like it’s used at least a handful of times in this movie.

It sucks when a hatred of something drives you away from a career you have your heart set on. I love algebra, so I was very gung ho and planning on becoming a chemical engineer — until I encountered calculus. That shit can go fuck itself sideways with a rusty chainsaw. I am now essentially a data entry clerk in a bank…

I’ve spent way too much time this afternoon debating whether to order Chinese food for dinner. I am not a lawyer, but I’m thinking this is a sign that I should go for it anyway.

I’m super glad we’re finally coming out of winter (even if it *did* snow just a few days ago, and side note: WHAT THE FUCK IS SNOW DOING COMING OUT OF THE SKY IN MARCH IN PORTLAND? Ahem), and I seem to be celebrating by buying purple highlighters from indie companies. Yes, multiple. And a coral blush with a violet…

Oof, and Tillamook. You can always tell the natives by the way they automatically ask for Tillamook on their burgers. I think I was in college before I realized Tillamook was a brand of cheddar and not just a variety of cheese like mozzarella or Swiss. I’m bummed the visitor center is closed for construction this…

Bummer. It would have been much funnier if it had been a reference to Jerry’s actual political career (if I recall correctly, there was a prostitution scandal, resignation, and subsequent re-election — in that order — involved).

The last time I bought weed, I wanted to try a new strain, but I wasn’t familiar with the ones this particular dispensary had (most of them weren’t in Leafly, so I was lost), so I asked for recommendations. I told the budtender that I was specifically looking for something to calm down my anxiety, and she responded by…

Yeah, I’m aware of that, which is why I used the words “earth-shattering” and “fantasy.”

In my fantasy world, Pence would be one of the new prisoners, and so many Rs would be thrown out of office that the Dems end up being handed control.

If you think Mark Halperin is going to go after him and really shine a light on things, you need to change your weed strain.

And only if the impeachment resulted in lengthy prison terms for a minimum of a hundred very high-ranking people. It has to be so earth-shattering that it makes Watergate look quaint and adorable.

We need a *loooong* time before this should happen. Like decades and a complete turnover of the House *and* the Senate. I watched The Big Short a couple of months ago, and it was too soon for that even though it’s been several years.