My then-five-year-old nephew ended up in the hospital with a very, *very* serious injury (think right on the edge of organ failure. A Lifeflight rode to a major medical university 150 miles away was involved) when my appropriately-aged cousin took him out for a ride on an ATV and left the kidlet unattended for…

I used to make a point of going to a movie during the Super Bowl. In the early ‘90s, it was the Spike & Mike All Sick & Twisted Festival of Animation because it happened to be playing here that particular weekend. Fun times.

I hope he strokes out giving himself plaudits on Presidents’ Day. NO, ASSHOLE, THIS DAY IS NOT IN FACT ABOUT YOU. Ahem.

I’ve heard/read that Bannon wanted to dump everything all at once, like everything on the same day, to overload everyone in their freakout. The Joker is the one insisting on stringing things out across multiple days so he can remain in the media spotlight for something different every day.

Thanks! I’m on mobile, and I didn’t realize that turning my phone sideways activated more editing options like this one.

Makeup. You can do absolutely tragic things with concealer (oh, I know! Ask one of the Drag Race contestants to pick the queen with *the* worst makeup skills), and I really don’t want to hurt Kate McKinnon. She needs to stick around as long as possible for all of our sakes.

“albeit without the water gun, cage, and throwable podium.”

Urban Decay Primer Potion is my favorite all-over eye primer, and Fyrinnae (the brand) Pixie Epoxy (the product name) is my favorite sticky eye base. You need both of them because PE is made to go over a regular primer, but it’s a bulletproof combination! I think Fyrinnae only sells through their own site, and it can…

I don’t use face primer, so I’m the wrong person to ask! I think it’s supposed to make your foundation go on more smoothly. Eyeshadow primer is made to help your eyeshadow apply better, be more vibrant, and wear longer without creasing. Sticky base makes sparkles stick even better than regular primer, so you really…

Is that the remake of the Tori Spelling/Ivan Sergei classic? I desperately want to see it! I loved the original, and this version sounds like it’s completely off the rails in the most delightfully bonkers way possible.

I probably would have replied, “You’re right. Ladies aren’t. It’s a damned good thing I’m a woman.” I really fucking hate the word “ladies” right now.

Ooh, I’m going to have to find the guru drama! I’m fascinated by that stuff.

The Give Me Some Nude Lip set, the birthday one (Tarte lip paint, maybe?), Buxom Bold Gel, Clinique Almost Lipstick, Estee Edit, and Urban Decay Vice (everything but the nude lip set were gwps, point perks, and Play box stuff). There might be another one or two I can’t recall, and I have a couple more point perk…

I just realized that I managed a successful month of an eyeshadow no-buy! Subscriptions are allowed, so I did receive a few, but I historically buy at least a dozen additional shadows above and beyond my subs per month. I did get about a dozen lipsticks (mostly minis from Sephora) during the month of January, but that…

I work for a bank, too, but I do back office support stuff for an equipment leasing division, so it’s strictly Monday through Friday for us unless there’s something bonkers going on like the time we had an unreal amount of training to do in a too-short amount of time. I probably could have gotten away with going in…

Being dicks to her some more. In most cities, it seems like you can’t get cops to respond to or even *acknowledge* a noise complaint, nevermind arrest someone for it.

I’ve been thinking about how the left and the right think of wins, and I think I’ve got it figured out. The left thinks of a win as “we did something that helps someone! Yay!” The right thinks of it as “we fucked over someone and put them in their place! Hoorah!”

I’m apparently running on the same program because I thought this as well. Maybe it just made the festival rounds last year, so we heard about it back then, and it’s just now getting released. It sticks in my mind as something that has been talked about before because my thought when it was first discussed was that it…

It seems like there was a flurry of studies in the ‘80s that found that douches can actually do more harm than good because they can push harmful bacteria further into you instead of flushing the cooties out, thereby creating really nasty infections instead of preventing them. Therefore, I’m cool with calling him a…

My mom was waaaay into Backstreet Boys and *NSYNC at the height of their popularity. This is not to say I had a cool mom in touch with what I listened to: Mom was in her late 40s at the time, and I was in my late 20s. They were very much irrelevant to my interests (I was listening to stuff like Soul Coughing and Ani…