I’m super bummed. I don’t have any of my t-shirts from the ‘80s. Then again, they wouldn’t fit me now anyway because boobs.

My whole point: Shakespeare knew how to tell a joke, and he knew how to tell dirty jokes understood by even the lowest classes. If that meant using Comic Sans somewhere, *he would do that*. He might have actually taken perverse pleasure in offending delicate sensibilities and intentionally using it, like if he were to…

Nazi Punks Fuck Off? That’s a classic Dead Kennedys song. Don’t just look up the lyrics. Go get everything they have ever done. Their entire discography is all going to be way too familiar and relevant.

Ooh, that’s a fascinating video. I’ve never considered how changing accents have removed or neutered some of his jokes. And that is just further fuel for my fire for exactly why I’m looking askance at the claim about Shakespeare being too regal and elegant to use Comic Sans. Sure, he could be regal and elegant, but he…

A roundup:

Shakespeare would have totally used it. Especially for his fart jokes. And extra-especially for his dog fart joke. Because, yes, Shakespeare totally wrote a dog fart joke. Totally.

Adventureland and Zathura! And I’ve heard good things about her roles in Camp X-Ray and Clouds of Sils Maria, although I haven’t seen them. She’s like the new Keanu Reeves: A career with good stuff and bad stuff, but all anyone ever thinks about is the bad stuff, possibly because the bad stuff is *really* bad. But…

Holy shit, autocorrect completely changed the meaning of that first sentence. I WAS talking to my dad, not wasn’t. Well, when I started laughing, I wasn’t talking because I was too busy laughing. I don’t know why autocorrect consistly changes “was” to “wasn’t” on me.

A friend pointed me in this direction when I said that I was staying far away from the March in my town due to crowd-related anxiety:

I wasn’t talking to my dad this morning (not about anything in particular, just the traditional/ritual birthday phone call), and I looked over and saw the nastiest, meanest, most devastating death glare *ever* — like even more severe than any sadistic villain in a horror movie — on this face, but I was laughing so…

A pearl and diamond necklace which, upon closer inspection, is actually Morse code spelling out a plea for assistance escaping.

This needs to be on Stitcher! I’m not finding it on there, and I don’t know how to add a podcast to that app if it’s not in their directory already.

Nah, I lived through Reagan, Bush, and Junior Bush. I’m good with not sitting back and waiting to see how things go.

To be clear, I mean buyer’s remorse on the part of everyone who *did* vote for him. Like when you *knew* your asshole coworker was dating a piece of shit but refused to listen to anyone who told her he was a manipulative cheating asshole, and then they got married, and then she finally woke up and realized he was…

Schadenfreude is almost definitely literally the only thing keeping me from crying right now. I look forward to all of the buyer’s remorse we are about to see. I don’t think they realize that sticking it to the left is going to mean they’re fucking themselves over at the same time.

This absolutely screams early ‘70s drum majorette.

He was one of my favorite character actors — right up there with Steve Buscemi and Michael Shannon as far as I’m concerned. I watched Crossing Jordan and the Bionic Woman remake (among many other things, but those are the two I remember at the moment since I’m still half-asleep) for him. The one thing that I’m finding…

Her name ran a bell with me because she was on Bates Motel. I’m in my mid-40s, love horror and Hitchcock, and briefly lived in an Oregon seaside town when I was a kid, so I had to watch at least the first season (I fell behind a year or two ago).

My favorite part of that is the part where she’s not actually moving there.

A few nights ago, I was watching one of those Ten Acts of Celebrity Kindness (I forget the exact name) videos on YouTube, and he was on there in full Jack Sparrow costume at some children’s hospital. I noticed one of his fingers was bandaged up, and I realized that the visit was shortly after that…