You’re clearly not his core demographic. His base will eat this up. He might even surge to 1.1% in the polls.

Did they rescue his shift knob? It looks like it tried to swim to safety.

“My wife is Sicilian...she’s at home.”

Calm.

Because cops are the most reliable people in the world and never ever would say anything untrue to help a friend get out of trouble. This is the same generation that sends swat teams to peoples houses when tickets go unpaid. all of them need real training and discipline once in a while. not a slap on the wrist over to…

Somebody DID have a gun.

I think I was just nutmegged by that headline.

I’m pretty much in for any video that inspires the sprinting away phenomenon

You’re either a biased Chicago person exhibiting lack of self awareness, or you’ve never experienced Cubs fans.

HISTORIC 3RD PLACE TEAM!

Every time I found myself cheering on the Cubs, TBS would cut to some hellhole Chicago bar full of asshole fans, and I’d be like “Oh yeah, that’s why I root against this team.”

Believe me, the Ricketts family is FULL of huge dicks

Cubs have very short legs.

No, this is what a Bear cock looks like:

I was going to say- to me, this seems like a pretty good argument for what they did? I mean, if you’d gone to management right up front and said you can trade an entire year of his career for home instead of away at the WC game, they would have tripped over their own dicks rushing to take the extra year.

“Sir, permission to use the giant fucking mace thing we have in the back?” “.....Granted..”

Are those canes with the swords in them!????

No shit. This is how an SVU episode is written: “how many twists can we add to make it just a touch less than unbelievable?”