Wasn't that Hilary from Fresh Prince?

They'll just bring out another of the Tucker clones from the back.

There was a world before toilet paper, too, but now we're better off without poopy buttholes.

I think if the last few months have taught us anything it's that life isn't fair and Trump probably needs Magnum condoms for his massive dong.

I had just finished watching A Face In The Crowd and couldn't help but think Trump was staring at the Rockettes like Lonesome Rhodes stared at that cute Arkansas twirler during the twirling competition.

She's like a real-life Dee Reynolds.
So, yeah, totally right up my alley.

Doesn't he have, like, a baker's dozen Avatar sequels to make?

If it gets me more episodes of King of Queens then what's the problem?

Idk what it is about morally-reprehensible Conservative women but I sure am attracted to them.

What's in the box!? What's in the booox!??

Most of his speech felt like an Obama roast.

He looks like me when I used to attend church: bored, not really listening, wondering what's for lunch, mentally undressing the pretty women in attendance….

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Part One 1
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Part One 2
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Part One 3
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Part Two 1
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Part Two 2
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Part Two 3

I thought the video footage had been edited together to make it look worse than it was?
Or did I fall for some fake ass news?

It's got that sweet Laurel Canyon sound…

As he bird-shots the audience.

I thought you were going to say Home Alone 2: Lost In New York.

Get off my lawn.

Yeah, thanks to that I can't even prowl for low self-esteem milfs on Craigslist's Casual Encounters without running across 100 prostitutes asking for "roses" from "generous men."

System of a Down announced a new album.
3 Doors Down is relevant again.
People with pre-existing health conditions are about to be uninsurable.