OKCupid. He showed up in torn cargo shorts, open toed sandals, and a dirty t-shirt. Then during dinner he proceeded to try to convince me to get the university I worked for to hire him as a videographer for our freshman orientation event. He even gave my his business card, which I still have in my wallet because it…

I made tofu-vermicelli lettuce wraps because our garden lettuce is about to bolt. They turned out good! (but a little spicier than intended)

I’m much better at turning dates down. One that I regret/am so glad I said no to, was a Solvenian maths PHD student (think Sheldon Cooper minus the comic books) who wanted to take me to a lecture on bonobo social grouping. I was considering an anthropology degree at the time, so I would have loved to go to the…

I want to be my coworker who has been fucking around all day while the rest of us work our asses off on the #1 biggest shelter adoption day of the year today. Thanks to any and all Jezzies who volunteered at, adopted at, or even helped social media promote the nation wide Clear the Shelters day today.

The first to come to mind is Lea DeLaria. Very nice, radiates warmth and a surprising gentleness. I met her at a nightclub appearance before she was as big a star as now (AAMOF it was a long-ass time ago), and she hung around after the show to let people buy her drinks and schmooze. She couldn’t have been lovelier, to…

Last week I posted that I was scheduled to get my first (and hopefully, only) abortion. And I was kinda nervous about it.

I used to work in book marketing and got to go to BookExpo in Chicago 2004. Anthony Bourdain had a new book coming out so he was there and walking the convention floor. I chased him down and got his autograph and was SO PLEASED with myself.

I do not know if mine counts because I did not actually go on the date. I was stood up by a guy because before coming to pick me up, he got arrested for shop-lifting a toaster oven at K-Mart using the self-checkout machines.

I had a really horrible date once. The guy shared his fantasty with me of having me fist him in the parking lot of a McDonald’s and call him my bitch, he even suggested we go do that right now! We were in the car after having gone to see a movie, so I quickly got out of the car and ran back into the movie theater, and…

No, it’s great, this is a real favor you’re doing everyone!

Those things look like something that would squirt a poisonous liquid at contestants in the hunger games while making them hallucinate.

Today was Clear the Shelters. I ended up adopting an adult male cat. I haven’t introduced him to the cat I already have though. But based on the personality he has displayed so far, I think they will get along really well.

The winner for pissing contest this week (by most stars!) is: ginger is a construct! For her story “Surprise Jalepeno”!

Ok. So on Wednesday I’m getting an abortion. I’ve never had one before, this is the first, and hopefully will be the only. One of my best friends is going with me. I have no idea what to expect. All my friends who have had abortions all did the pill, and it sounded so miserable that I opted for the in-clinic abortion…

Since y’all are pretty open about both mental health issues and parenting things, I figure I’ll put this here since it’s something I’ve been thinking about. Has your disorder (whatever it may be) influenced your decision to have or not have kids? I’ve recently started seeing a very, very promising dude. One of the…

I like my coworker. Like, actually like him, not just a crush. I haven’t liked anyone in well over a year, possibly 18 months. I've got it bad guys. It legitimately can’t happen because we work so closely within our department and we even share a workspace sometimes. So, HOW DO I GET OVER THIS is my question. It’s…

LADIES. I got divorced yesterday!!!! YAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I once lifted up my mattress to adjust the fitted sheet. On the bed frame below I found a soft but not decaying jalapeno. My SO denied putting it there, and no way I would bring fresh produce into the bedroom, much less waste a jalapeno by tucking it under my bed. Am I the Princess and the jalapeno?! Did a witch put…

Way to bury the lede of LOOK AT WHAT MIKE PENCE’S FUCKING FAMILY LOOKS LIKE

Consider wearing a brace during exercise for a while, and ice after even if it doesn’t hurt. Bad sprains linger for a long time, and just because you can’t see swelling doesn’t mean you don’t have swelling in the joint. Hope if feels better soon!