They’re called cats, and they can eat what’s in the dish or starve. They don’t tip for shit, so I’m not gonna be bending over backwards here.

Tina why are you such a boobpunch!

Olds can’t feel hot temperature because of the icy grip of the grave trying to drag them down. I say this as someone who often had to nuke the same cup of coffee four or five times for old couples during breakfast hours when I was a waitress in college.

“They first bitch about all the fish.”

I can’t believe you would even suggest something so dangerous. People on this forum ARE ALLERGIC.

Those of us without dicks/cocks/nuts would be boob punched?

Ever heard of The Vortex? The owner is one of my favorite people, like, on the planet. Here are their policies, which includes this peach and many others:

Mother likes her food hot. Musn’t upset mother!

I mean, eat what makes you happy. Maybe its delicious! But don’t for a second act like this is normal and the server should know...because that is ridiculous.

I am looking to hire cooks and waitstaff for my newest restaurant - Punchie’s This Is How We Serve It.

I read every one of these - and there were definitely some gems - but I just flat-out can’t get over putting jelly on pizza, let alone asking for it like it’s not completely insane.

DON’T TELL ME WHAT I CAN AND CANNOT EAT PINKHAM YOU DON’T OWN ME

Yes, cod does move in mysterious ways... [makes swimming motion with hand]

This is something I drew years ago...the Holy Carp, complete with tiny Crucifish.

I wonder how she would have answered if you’d asked those questions?

Plainly we need a highly trained agency based on Blade Runner, but instead of replicants they hunt dumbasses. They’d be equipped with tranquilizer guns and trained to do voight-kampff like tests to determine if the subject was mentally equipped to interact with society. Nothing bad would happen to them, they just…

Maybe it harkens back to some subconscious safety mechanism in their reptilian brain that spies a hot mess and says “other people have been here. Here is safe. Go here for eats.”

THIS. We even have repeat customers who arrive in large groups right before closing, every week or so. And every time I tell them “please call ahead next week, and we can have a table ready for you.” They have NEVER CALLED. NOT ONCE. See also: large groups who show up and want to take over an entire section, but they…

“So, your table stopped me and asked what kind of fish they had was because they thought you were lying to them; I told them it was cod and they asked why we didn’t have real fish.”