He’ll be there long after Gruden. He just has to wait this year out then he can have a career ending injury next year as the starter.

please. cousins play fit the redskins perfectly. get down big, pile up good numbers, make games look closer than they are, have everyone in town believe they’re this close to bein’ a cuntendah.

literal sewage treatment facility

Yeah, this has a distinctly non-consensual feel to it. She is literally there as a requirement of her job. Kudos to her (i guess?) for being a good sport about it but it feels real yucky to watch the video of enormous men wearing face covering goggles drenching a single, totally unprotected woman with alcohol.

Khalil Mack was also an unannounced guest when he came in to sack Cousins on air because there was no one who bothered to stop him.

Jared Goff knows all that stuff also and could easily explain to reporters the coverage of any team playing them ... with his earpiece in.

I haven’t been this mad at Cousins since Grandpa died without a will.

If he’d only knocked a woman unconscious instead, they’d have him back in a month at worst.

“His name is Jock Strap King” and “He’s stronger than you think.”

“Oh, so you give HIM a chance to get back on his feet, huh?”

They basically didn’t want to pay the luxury tax.

A plastic bag of styrofoam cups is also Alex Smith’s new tibia.

Boras suggests the half-measure of getting baseball’s umpires to “oversee regular toweling of bases during wet weather”

Seriously, what the fuck was Rizzo doing leading off on Friday? Who in the hell puts a guy just coming back from a lower body injury just a couple of days before in the lead off spot??? I wish I could say that Wacha was smart enough to walk Rizzo on purpose just to clog up the bases... but I won’t give him that much…

Iiiiiiiiiiiiin West Philadelphia

“You can just throw them out of windows??”

I think “pulling off the ol’ double moochy” is what got him into trouble in the first place.

I can’t believe the Patriots went to all this trouble to beat the Dolphins.

I dunno but we'll hear it from Rapoport in that many hours and one minute.

This.