“Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers.”

65% of Charger fans have at one point lived in Philip Rivers’ ballsack.

I mean...of anyone in the MLB, Verlander especially has the right to be super protective over who has access to his cell phone information.

That’s a great idea, but it’s getting awfully crowded up in those rafters.

“Sure, we could have demanded he pay us the money back. But that didn’t feel like the right thing to do. Andrew was more than just our quarterback, he was the person we rallied around after we let Peyton Manning go He brought us together: our present, our future and our glorious past. From our point of view, he helped…

Andrew Luck’s retirement will only increase the primal urgency of Football Men to find True Football Believers to play football, so that they don’t ever question their faith in it.

I have driven an hour+ to take some.

Jesus Christ I can hear the Sam Adams in that comment.

Wow, he’s really lucky, because, while they take drug offenses super-seriously in New Hampshire, they recently repealed the death penalty. Not only that, but hanging was still on the books in NH as one of the possible means of execution, until earlier this year! So, he won’t have to worry about mobs of people…

“I used to have trouble getting it up, because of E.D.*”

“When has he ever thanked me for the pay I’ve given him. That uppity [satellite signal lost]."

“They forget you've gotta win," said the Cleveland Browns quarterback.

I mean yeah, the Miami team’s stadium was always going to be in Florida. 

Brown cannot wait to catch passes from Landry Jones again.

Tired of all these primadonnas complaining about not getting to play with what they want. Well boohoo snowflake, there are millions of people who would gladly take your place and play for nothing. What happened to being a MAN and playing football in nothing but a leather shell? That’s real FOOTBALL. You go out there…

If Ryan was the one who went down, then the headline would have been “Dan Quinn is a Fucking Idiot”.

That was a pithier reply than I'd have expected from him, but it's probably not the first time he finished quickly talking about feet.

With this one conversation Lamar Jackson is now a closer friend than any other member of Rodgers’ family.

“I for one would like it if people stopped thinking about my safety.”

For the remainder of the preseason, Nagy will make Long barf on the exact same spot of the field until he gets it right.