The answer is clear: tip the customer 40%.

Nope.

Yes. The first thing I would do as a tourist would be to log onto Facebook and see what the local police department has to tell me about ordering food. This is normal.

Josie, Cheryl, Toni, and Moose didn’t take the SATs. No college for them, I guess.

^^^ Found the letter-writer.

Why would that give you any dread? It’s not like you’re ever going to tell your great-grandchildren about the Great Delicata Squash Shortage of 2019.

“My friends are late for our dinner at a tapas restaurant - the type of restaurant where we’re all supposed to share our small plates of food. Why are they making me wait for my friends??????”

YOUR QUESTION HAS FAILED THE SPLINTER PURITY TEST

Yes, probably, so it’s a good idea to ask a friend or family member to stop by and house sit when you’re out of town during the winter.

Jesus Christ, just... always get a separate bill when dining with that group and never let her pay your bill. Why is this so difficult?

I think a lot of the visceral backlash comes from a place of not trusting people who are trying to sell a Lifestyle™ . Like, decluttering is great, but participation in the Lifestyle™ of thanking inanimate objects for no longer bringing you Joy™ or whatever is extremely off-putting to a lot of people. 

If there’s one thing Splinter knows how to do, it’s blogging.

“We thankfully now live in a world that has progressed over the last 30 or 40 years. People can be who they want, be with who they want, and live how they want.”

Funny, that’s my exact reaction to this “hard-hitting journalism” you’ve got going on in this glorified blog post.

Also, My Stroke of Insight by neuroanatomist Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor provides an excellent first-hand account of the changes that occurred in her brain during a stroke she experienced. She was unable to remember the significance of 911 but managed to call a coworker who called an ambulance for her.

I’m just going to throw this out there - advising people who think they may be having a stroke to call 911 immediately is good advice, but is also a little complicated.

Use that tip money to go see a therapist and work through your weird guilt issues.

Don’t touch me unless I’m choking and in need of the Heimlich maneuver.