So...

(1) Make yourself sexually available to drunk men.

"Also, they're 11."

I could not stop laughing.

The NFLPA has lobbied for, and received, regulations limiting the number of practices, the type of contact in practices, and the amount and type of work done in other organized team activities and mini-camps.

When you lobby for regulations limiting things, it is because those things (1) currently exist; and (2) you…

Every time I go in the woods, I'm shocked at how quickly things move. However, there's the "what do they use THAT for?" factor to consider when placing a Squatty Potty device in your home.

#NotAllCops?

I guess your idea of "a scientific population sampling" is "5 of your dumb-ass friends."

"I'm not here to be my kids' friend, I'm their Father. I'm keeping my baby of the pole. By any means necessary."

You're living proof that spanking creates spankers, yes.

Your other argument is specious reasoning.

Ignorance of the law is no excuse.

I doubt that law would survive a facial challenge.

Is it exhausting, removing all context from something and tying yourself in knots to defend poor and probably unethical lawyering?

You know what a good lawyer says here? "We're confident the evidence will back our position" or NOTHING.

Attorneys are subject to a strict code of ethics. Lying like this arguably violates that code.

The very system of tipping is you buying service from the server. That's the nature of the economic transaction (also, the portion of your meal price that goes to the server's hourly wage).

Society has generally agreed that 20% is the standard tip. This is not some far-out concept. Even poor but not offensive…

It really helps if you each really get off on the idea of the other one getting off.

You buy food from the restaurant and service from the server. You've already gotten the service by the time the bill comes. Good service gets a good tip (over 20%); mediocre service gets a mediocre tip (20%); bad service should be taken up with management instead of just passive-aggressively stiffing the server.

That…

You magnificent bastard. +1

I invite you to attempt to negotiate fair wages with a service industry employer. If you take a hard line, they will just fire you.

"What should I pay the salary of someone who doesn't work for me?"

Yes, and you do it every time you spend money in the economy, bozo. Do you think the CEO of Kraft or General Mills or…

Tax fraud is tax free like stealing something is getting a giveaway.

How do you imagine tips primarily come these days: credit card or cash? Maybe some, or even most, servers don't report the cash, but the cash is a small part of the tip pool, and frankly, it's better to have credit card tips, anyway, because it's…

"Make your employer pay you."

This fundamentally misunderstands the state of affairs in the American service economy, so much so that I assume it has to be a fucking joke.

If it's not a fucking joke, then you, yourself, are a fucking joke.

It's not tax free.