I’m speechless.

More like The Grand Pinball Wizard

Tonight’s SOTU, in contrast, will be wrecked by the appearance of Brown Strawmen.

C’mon Hagbard. You are more than welcome to post your well reasoned opinions and articulate observations regarding BR2049 here at AV Club you piece of shit asswipe who wouldn’t know a great goddamn movie if it came up, inserted its finger into your anus while blowing in your ear and calling you muffincakes.

1. Downtown Abby

#1 Darth Skater

1. Death Ro Laren

I have a ridiculously long list of potential derby names and am still proud that I won a contest from our local derby team by submitting a name for a new player. The winner for the contest was Yugo Splat.  

Because I am an accountant, my personal derby name is kind of boring.
The 10 Key Crusher

1. Hunter S. Tommygun

I’d like to take a moment to remember all AVClubbers who were sacrificed to the gods of Kinja in 2017.

Riverdale is the only Twin Peaks soft reboot that has the balls to say “Black Lodge? Lame! Give me more of that pine weasel stuff!” and it’s so much better for it.

“I don’t have a husband, and he don’t play the trombone...”

I liked the throwaway detail that the Thinker, in his free time when not planning whatever the hell he is planning, is apparently a much improved teacher, since unlike in the flashback scenes, his present-day classroom is packed with attentive students.

No, thank you to his victims who came forward.

The moment she instructed us to run with scissors, wipe back to front and literally reach for the stars (because “stars aren’t that hot”) was the moment I fell in love with this show.

One great thing about this episode is that Rebecca finally got her wish from all of last season: Paula is completely integrated into her girl group. In typical Crazy Ex-Girlfriend fashion Rebecca gets what she wanted, but she no longer even remembers that was what she wanted.

That’s because Miracle Whip is an abomination.

Stupid people who believe stupid things have a history of not giving up their stupid beliefs when they’ve been proven to be wrong. See: anti-vaxxers, creationists, kinja apologists, etc.

Jackie, Jason, Linda, Marilyn, Geraldine, Herb, and “The Honeymooners”

Yes, I really did. Eat a dick, edgelord.