Hot Wheels and HELL YES THEY ARE

Why breed larger turkeys when ostriches exist?

I’m just going to leave this here...

I assume the fireworks would be to get the drivers attention. BUT.....it would be really awesome if they did setup fireworks to trigger every time someone hit the bridge. Kind of like a homer during the playoffs or something.  A couple of big sparkly fountains on each side, lots of rockets and concussions.  

Cash always trumps candy.

Stop asking your kids what they want and start telling them what you want. Happy, successful families aren't democracies.

The last time we combined Lighter and Wilder, this happened:

If you can afford those super cars you can afford the taxes.

Well, if the owners are shorting GA to the tune of $10k a pop, one a month per investigator would make it revenue neutral. But that’s a shitty metric for whether or not fraud should be investigated and be punished.

Gamestop employee here. Legit had a dad trading in his two son’s switches for the fortnite ones. Tried to talk him out of it

Well they’re running a Halloween game right now instead, so you’re sorta right:

McMooCow.

they considered it but determined the value of the vehicles was not worth the effort let alone $1.1 billion

I’m for showing a video of this on the floor of the House...let them know what’s coming with the midterms. 

I would buy David Tracy an awful lot of Jeeps.

Here’s a lifehack. To avoid substitution charges, bring your own scallops hidden in your purse. 

Virginia is for lovers because there’s nothing to do but fuck.

Onion ninjas.

Apparently, it’s a really bad day for pollen here in Middle Tennessee. Yep, the pollen must be really, really bad. There’s no other explanation for my eyes watering like this.

It’s his own fault. If he lived in the US, he wouldn’t have had health insurance so he couldn’t have had surgery. Problem solved.