This submission should have made the cut.  

Right?!

Excellence

Didn’t have to go very far to get this retort. Thank you, sir or madam.

Regarding your last sentence: they are both a source a humor. 

Bonne chance...

And here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

Was fϿking waiting for someone to write this better than I ever could.

What happens if you’re not actually doing in on purpose, but your fan base thinks you are ?

This is a prime example of some of the harder-hitting journalism that I come to deadspin for.  

And he’s not wrong.

I’m not gonna fœøk the star count.

“It can’t possibly be this hard to get a...”

This is the only take that matters. 

How the fuck a man can write this well, this consistently, is beyond me. 

“(and maybe Texas has some lax zoning and food safety laws that allow for better barbecue than other areas)“

Into the veins. 

For some folks, dinner was just eaten.

Someone get an 18 gauge 

C’mon Revo. I expect so much better from you.