My hubby and I have done similar at Five Guys: burger each, fries and a bacon hot dog. We share the fries and hot dog. At this point, after 15 years, unless one of us has a raging case of something nasty and contagious, we don’t really care about each other’s cooties. That said, we don’t share a ton because when it…

What about when she puts an entire box worth of noodles into a pot of luke warm water?

It’s ok as long as you eat it simultaneously from opposite ends without hands, with eyes locked concluding with a passionate embrace and carrying her out of the restaurant exclaiming that you’re going to make love to your wife. Then the patrons and employees give you a standing ovation. All to the swelling sounds of…

The only weird thing is that sandwiches aren’t typically served as side dishes.

Hahaha fair!!

What are your thoughts on Mars???

Because the texture of a toasted bagel is still 98% the texture of an untoasted bagel, with a little bit of crisp in between the cream cheese and the bagel that some people find texturally pleasing? A bagel doesn’t taste like regular bread, nor does a toasted bagel have anything remotely resembling the texture of…

Ah shit. Got me there. I meant to say the Double Stacker and got my bacon burgers confused.

Geezers need excitement. If their lives don’t provide it, they’ll incite violence. Common sense, simple common sense.

Aside from the ironic flavors (Earwax, Earthworm, etc), Buttered Popcorn is the worst Jelly Belly flavors.

I went to the yelp page to compare it to their instagram and they plate the tacos just as well.  Sorry I missed it when I visited.  

I was ungreyed on Gawker.

Remember Gawker? :( 

Always loved seeing your name on Deadspin comments, so I hope you get followed.

Last I worked at AMC Theatres -- so, two years ago -- a 6" pizza was about 7.50, so this deal isn't so bad.

There is a till.

“Alum” is a casual, informal term. Language happens.

If you really want to play pedantic games, “alum” actually an abbreviated form of “alumnus”. As such, it seems reasonable that “alums” might be an abbreviated form of “alumni”.

Please don’t do this. ^

Brimming with the taste of butterfly pea-ness.

If there are three cup sizes, and the person taking the order can’t figure out how “small”, “medium” or “large” corresponds to their naming convention, then their compulsory education failed them.