Roughned makes a great double play combo with shortstop Yarlandis Eaterz.

iHistory textbook, 2184: “Steve Jobs loved children so much that he allowed child volunteers in China to assemble some of his early devices.”

“So stuff this container with my personal belongings and be off team property by 4 pm?”

You can’t see it from this angle, but the table had the word ‘Dignity’ printed on it in block letters.

An animated Rex Ryan? Only one character comes to mind.

Sure she may come cheap but the vitriol refills are where they getcha.

(sails pass that hits peanut vendor in the side of the head)

Kelly: That tears it, I’m trading Murray to the Jaguars for a conditional 12th round pick.

We’ll get a comment as soon as a First Take production assistant gets a small stepladder so Skip can descend from the chair that makes him appear to be at the same eye level as the hostess.

“All I’m saying is you just never know.”

Looking forward to his Andy Rooney-esque segments on some local news show, probably called “Senior Moments.”

The breakfast buffet prior to the morning film session included apple turnovers, so he ran out, screaming, to hide in a broom closet

It’s like rooting for James Spader as Steff in Pretty in Pink.

Shortly after that baby fan .gif, he was tabbed by trenchcoat-clad monks to be named the 12th reincarnation of Peter Lorre.

To be fair, he didn’t say a daffy, wrong-headed thing about diversity or feminism so it’s easy to see how he escaped Jezebel excoriation.

“And congratulations to the Florida State football team, now celebrating its 89th consecutive year with no arrests by us.” — Tallahassee PD spokesperson

(buys up property where the future Marina del Lex and Otisburg will be located)

“Now choke yourself. [Harper wraps his own hands around his throat] Goddamn it, with MY hand, numb-nuts! [Harper reaches for Scherzer’s hand] Don’t pull my fucking hand over there! I said choke yourself; now lean forward and choke yourself!”

Take a wrong turn on the “Landmarks of Justified” bus tour and it all goes to shit.

I never thought anybody would top Marty Feldman, but I was wrong.