I SEO what you did there.

Tom Cruise seems like a litigious person.

Great fucking story.

“YOU’RE MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A F***ING IDIOT!”

Given the average American’s understanding of basic Civics concepts—or their understanding of the founding documents they swathe themselves in (having had to memorize the Preamble in eighth grade doesn’t count as having read the entirety of the founding documents, folks)—it follows that Trump’s using the “if the…

I like to think that both Optimus and Hot Rod actually played “The Touch” during those scenes out of their speakers.

There are links to pictures in this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/UnresolvedMysteries/comments/daabz5/michael_and_kristine_barnett_the_parents_of_an/?utm_source=amp&utm_medium=&utm_content=post_body

...Are you actually that plagiarism guy?

Close.

and frothy-mouthed cable news fuck-up Rudy Giuliani

Another reason I can’t go into politics is because my opponents will mercilessly attack me when they find out that, after I watched it with my daughter, I discovered I really liked “My Little Pony”

Eh. As long as he’s not holding Rick and Morty up as a genius paean to the misunderstood value of nihilism that only true intellectuals can fully appreciate, I’m down. I kinda dig the show myself, but I’ve never felt the need to storm a McDonald’s for Szechuan sauce, nor do I think I’m particularly erudite for…

I’m waiting for the sentencing, until then this is still up in the air.  

Indeed, the connection between the President, the attorney general, and the president’s personal lawyer is just too confusing to figure out. I can’t wait until Trump’s idiot children get implicated, and they’re all like “Whoa, wait a minute, now there are TWO guys named Donald Trump involved?  How do you expect the…

*In Jerry Seinfeld voice:

What’s the deal with statutes of limitation?

Which he can’t claim, because he has said he wasn’t Trump’s personal lawyer.

They’re scared.