Richard Marx could have a marriage with any human being in history and he’d win just because he’s beefing with Rand Paul.

No worries - I wasn’t taking your comment badly.  It just seems like sobriety must be particularly tricky in an industry like that, since people in recovery are generally advised to avoid those sorts of settings.  

Fortunately they canceled his show at the cocaine factory. 

I would not be surprised to see him work that into his set.

I despise big pharma corporations and I get my second dose next week because I'm capable of walking and chewing gum at the same time. 

Rhodes told the police he didn’t actually have any weapons in his car

I think the printer scene (and the confrontation afterwards) is the first one that comes to mind whenever I think of the Jack Ryan movies. 

Maybe the guy who pranced around Stonehenge naked in Thor: The Dark World shouldn't act so judgey.

LEGO Apollo Saturn V:

LEGO Apollo Saturn V:

Douchebag Sun is my favorite Soundgarden song.

There’s way, way, way more grade inflation in college U.S. colleges than in high school—at least in the humanities, I believe the sciences are more rigorous. Consequently I doubt much of a payoff would be necessary; these kids are probably guaranteed at least a gentleman’s C for showing up.  More likely a B.

And lo, the number of the rails shall be three. And three shall be the number. No more, no less. Two shall not be the number, unless immediately proceeding three. Four is right out.

My kids get a book in the mail every month from Dolly Parton's reading nonprofit, and every book has a picture of her on the back flap. My toddler now shouts "Dolly!" whenever we finish a book. It's a relief that she isn't a secret nazi or anything. 

Was going to write a long response about how this has been a well known fact in Arkansas for years, which is why other Arkansas republicans started declaring their candidacy over a year ago, and more about the inside workings of Arkansas politics. But then I read the comments, so fuck it, I can just burn with the rest…

“Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime”

I’m laughing my ass off imagining one of the paralegals at that law office on the phone trying to get the 2m they paid for the pardon refunded.

I’m amazed I had to scroll down this far before someone mentioned that.  It was the first thing I thought of when I saw the headline.

Also, John Denver and the Muppets, a Christmas Together.

No, it just felt like it.

Just not Atari 2600 Raiders-Era Indy.