From my point of view, the AV Club is evil!

They sure were flat… and the musicians were out of tune.

That movie gets no regard from you, no regard at all. No esteem, either.

You call that disturbing claymation? THIS is disturbing claymation, America's favorite family being slaughtered:

This isn't an adaptation of Macbeth from Lady Macbeths perspective, à la "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead"? Man, that is flagrant false advertising!

At least it's not an imaginary daughter, that would be truly weird.

How many Best Screenplay Oscars does Matt Reeves have? Zero. Ben Affleck 1, Matt Reeves 0.

Sherrif Lommy or get the fuck out!

How about instead of a remake, they make it a sequel? The Michelle Pffiefer character was, unbeknownst to Tony, pregnant when she left him. Now it's time for his son to take back Miami. Jai Courtney IS Scarface Junior. Rated Pg 13.

What a coincidence, The Asylum is releasing a Transmorphers spin-off starring the Wasp.

Like Marge Simpson. She needs a little tenderness. She needs a little understanding. She needs a little Guy.

Isn't Lily Collins a bit on the hefty side for this role? She's at least 95 pounds, which is practically morbidly obese for an anorexic. She should've lowered her body weight to a dangerous level for this mediocre Netflix movie.

Christoph Waltz as Roman Polanski?

Relatively unknown actor Avan Jogia would make a great Aladdin. He used to be on the Disney Channel show Victorious, and someone once called him Aladdin on the show. The resemblance is uncanny.

That restaurant gets no regard, no regard at all. No esteem, either.

If you don't got Mojo Nixon then your playlist could use some fixin'.

Not surprising. Morrissey is not the sharpest tool in the shed.

Take a hike, Kojak!

That's not the roof, that's a deck. More of an awning, really. Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.

He's too monstrously ugly to be the offspring of those two handsome people.