Restraining order.

I'd like to see a magician fit ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag. Then I'll declare it art.

I feel like that image is some sort of test. "Quick, punch exactly one of these people."

WHAT DO YOU DO? WHAT. DO. YOU. DO.

"Ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag" was one of my recently passed mother-in-law's favorite sayings. For that reason ALONE, I love this Newswire. The banner was just a bonus.

My wife tried to make us celebrate a "five-month anniversary" once. I got drunk as shit and slept on the couch instead.

"Shakes. Why did it have to be shakes?" *takes Parkinson's meds*

Beastie Boys' "Intergalactic" complete with funny voices for another dimension another dimension another dimension another dimension etc.

Ooh, that reminds me. I REALLY liked Jet Force Gemini. In fact, earlier this week I remember wishing that I still had my N64 specifically for that reason.

Is Mega Man 64 considered terrible? It's very NOT Mega-Manish. I remember renting it and really enjoying the setting, even though the graphics were not impressive.

It's super effective!

Too Much Goddamn Time on your Hands, Internet.

Nice big word, but penultimate means second-to-last, not second highest ranked.

/pedant

Upvoted for the use of Aiden as a generically milquetoast name.

The kids aren't alright.

The people trying to make money off the kids aren't alright.

How could he miss Yakima? It's the Palm Springs of Washington!

Gross. The Macklemore is the worst.

Infinite monkeys, infinite typewriters, etc. Bound to happen eventually.

I just came here to say that I refuse to click on the Kanye Newswire below this one, or any future Kanye Newswires.
And to look at tits.

Really, this is JUST the sort of culture you would expect to find in a peaktwee dish.

Yes, but what aspect ratio are they in?