There’s a joke about brain surgeons I heard once:

I can almost smell the air of Florida when I watch this.

The long tie extends over the area where his micropenis would be, in effect displaying a long, phallic (usually red) shape outwardly and covering over where the intensely shame-laden, actual phallus actually is.

True. Otherwise, you end up just a flash in the pan.

“In that same meeting, Spicer warned staffers not to use encrypted texting apps like Confide and Signal.”

Nothing inspires self-confidence like being told in your young and malleable years to shut up, expect nothing, accept what you get, and let the men tell you what that will be.

Does anyone remember the pizza chain “noble Romans?”

I’m sure you’d be fine with Obama golfing without a cabinet in place, while one is being fired, one is withdrawing, after having had assistance winning the election from another country which his administration won’t allow Congress to investigate...I’m sure you’d be fine with all that, right? I think you sound very…

So you counted then?

“Woke” is so hot right now. “Woke.”

Sidenote: Webster defines “Schlapp” as “the resonation of adipose tissue that results from the impact of one man’s upper thigh and hip area onto the buttocks of another man during the act of male-to-male, anal sex.”

Can we get a re-run of the story from last season showing the pic of the Cards fan sitting happily in his Busch Stadium seats with half his swastika tat showing? Cuz I’ve been to a game there, had a terrible experience—and I’m a white male—and my impression of Cards fans (also from their hate toward Jason Heyward last…

Wait, have you voluntarily donated your Patriot’s Share donation, for the privilege of sitting in that chair (smiling)? Here, let me show you where you can generously and voluntarily donate online to the campaign in order to grab that chair you wish to sit in.

Action is the answer. Once you become involved in something, anything, that addresses those things that induce the anxiety, you begin to feel a little better. It’s like exposure therapy in the political realm. Plus, maybe it helps keep our democracy a democracy?

“Hey, Chris, if you think that was good? Next time I’ll have you try the Hot Carl. It’s terrific. Terrific. You’ll love it. Melania always loves it.”

Trump retorted: “But I’ll be your best friend..!?”

My favorite is californium.

As soon as he locates the “edge” for us, then, I’m happy to believe him.

The Bible doesn’t even say that. It just doesn’t say it isn’t. And it does say that the sun and moon move around the earth, so there is that. Just don’t take that part literally. Or the part where Jesus says to turn the other cheek, give a man who steals your cloak the shirt off your back, give to him who asks of…

If only the Niners and the Sixers were in the same league...