If your beer is too warm, you're not drinking it fast enough. Plain and simple.

Drew, even Aaron Hernandez thinks you ought to pull back on the caps a bit.

This has been, by far, my favorite thing in baseball for a while now. (I'm a Cubs fan.)

You know who also made sensational catch?

No, but seriously, before you go all baseball-reference.com, stop to consider whether I was simply making an inane jab mocking the Newsday line.

With that, BJ Upton wasted a chance to climb within .020 of the Mendoza line for the first time since Opening Day.

Lincoln Park, eh? That bar is now a Lululemon.

Reilly: [thinks for 1.57 seconds]

Good gesture...only took me 8 seconds to realize that many people will buy a clearance racked AH jersey only so they can get the free exchange of the jersey they really wanted.

I hope that wasn't why it was your first wedding.

for '13th Amendment Night' the Marlins will place a player on waivers.

I live in NC, and while I'm not a Bobcats fan, I still want to see the team do well. But holy shit are they terrible at drafting. Remember Adam Morrison? Dear God.

So much crisp, clean, Blackhawks apparel. It's almost like it's brand new.

Sometime I feel like a good "Boo" is nearly as effective as an astounding positive cheer.

For the first time ever, I am a huge Simmons fan. Him immediately going back on the offensive when they cut back after the Doc interview was spectacular, made even moreso by the stark contrast of the other talking heads slipping into ESPN "we can't say anything negative or controversial" coward mode.

So you're telling me the people at the top make more than the people at the bottom. Interesting. Any word on how they dole out parking spaces?

Great job, Deadspin. Now somebody at ESPN is going to get fired.

way 2 many numbers but i do understand that i get paid less

In fairness to denim bans, if you are a country club, you have to consider the possibility of Michael Jordan joining.

This one is too easy. Aaron Hernandez is just like Detective Nordberg from the Naked Gun movies.