I have to say, I’ve never heard the term “Witchmen” before. It sounded kinda hot, so I google image searched it... it is not.

Teehee, I misread things like that allll the time! The initial thoughts processes when it happens are usually hilariously pathetic, or pathetically hilarious. Either fit.

There’s also something about her being a teacher, a scientist, and a mom! While running a successful home business... but I can’t think of a punchline for this.

Eww, they look like severed thumbs with blood and puss oozing out

Nobody pre-blur your penises! That way Fahey will have to it all himself

[...] period of time a Hot Pocket sits in your stomach undigested before coming out whole through your anus. So not affiliated.

Do Americans have Pizza Pockets?

I’ll try:

Lol yeah, we figured it all out a few hours ago, but that’s all been lost in the sea of grey now...

Yeah I totally get it now, you’re still using paper-based transactions. That’s very... retro? Quaint? Idk really, but whatever, Mystery Solved!

Omg thank you all for the answers. I literally lost sleep over this, running scenarios in my head. The closest I got was like if you’re in a scuzzy dive bar, near a college, or somewhere they get a lot of dine and dashers they might take your card at the start and you get it back when you pay. But then that brings me…

Ugh, I think it’s that vacant stare. It’s uncanny valley on a real person.

Lol pour vs pore... how do people NOT know this? The ironing is delicious!

I had LEGO, which are whatever you want them to be!

Also, isn’t part of the american mantra that “competition is good”

Teehee I’m only noticing your comment now, we were basically typing the same thing, at the same time, only I was more long winded :-)

Exactly! I’m in Canada too. Where the hell do these people live that someone takes your card? I assumed the US because gawker sites are notoriously american-centric, but WTH, are they still using paper bills? There is no paper anything other than a receipt (and at many places you can choose not to print one).

Lol I figured out after my post that check means “cheque” like in movies when they say “cheque please.” I was so confused in the one paragraph because “check” is there several times but they don’t all mean the same thing, and to make things worse a check/cheque is called a bill where I live.

Honestly I think we need the word normal, because omg there are things out there that just aren’t normal. I think people conflate “normal” and “average.” A certain disability might be uncommon, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be normal. I want your special needs kids to be able to say ‘we’re normal too,’ and for…

Needy children in general, or needy disabled children? I can see how something like that could be problematic to setup. Who decides who will qualify, that sort of thing.