“You’re a good egg, Noonan. Now pick up that gum wrapper” - Trump

Very disrespectful to the military.

Please, we all know Hillary was the reason that stage collapsed. And, she was the one who stopped the reporters from accompanying the cameras through the hotel. When will she address this controversy? What is she hiding?

“It’s gonna be a beautiful, beautiful wall. Believe me.”

PLEASE let this an omen from the gods presaging the collapse of the Trump Campaign! I will totally stop being an atheist for this!

Has anyone from the privileged class established what form of protest against systemic racism they are totally chill with witnessing?

When Europeans first settled this continent they had two big thoughts.

I wish I could give this more stars.

This is your obligatory reminder that whatever you think of American prudery when it comes to the sex lives of politicians, Anthony Weiner didn’t go down for a little harmless consensual sexting. The “accidental” tweet that broke the story was an unsolicited dick pic sent to a college student who had tweeted him about…

I had to triplecheck that I had read it correctly, which was made difficult by my hysterical laughter. Not only is Lochte causing difficulties in Rio, he is also causing difficulties with my landlady.

I mean, there's still time.

Wait for it.

• Lochtail Party

So very important question.

the four swimmers spoke to U.S. State Department officials and they agreed to shut up. Almost immediately after the briefing, Lochte “walked across the street” and gave an interview

SEALs were going to intervene, but Obama issued a stand down order.

B

Is that her attorney next to her? His tie is stupid.

I have no doubt she feels she’s forgiven. And if she divorces yet again, she’ll be forgiven yet again.

When I was in middle school my dad used to go through my backpack and read notes that my best friends and I would write to each other (we would pages upon pages to each other...what on earth did we talk about?). He would confront me about it and tell me that I was “entirely too into boys, etc.” I was SUCH A GOOD KID…