Soup. Soup is funny.

...then a serious thumb injury and the premature birth of his daughter wrecked the rest of his season.

Can we have a lentil sympathy for Damon Jones here?

I’d say more like a chortle.

It’s almost as if Trump is a liar and just says crazy shit all the time but people still report his words as fact.

It’s not that the president is liar- you kind of expect that of politicians, to a point- it’s that he is a bullshitter.

Why do people keep calling him “General Kelly”? I don’t remember Colin Powell being referred to as “General Powell” during the Dubya years.

It’s like pulling a floorboard off of the court.

On the fairway, you don’t want to leave a divot, but at least players are lifting the ball into the air from the fairway. On the green, they’re hitting the ball on the ground, and by driving your cart on the green, you’re creating a rut along the path of the ball. It…

It’s like scooping a giant hole in the ice of an ice hockey ring.

In baseball terms, it would be like bunting during a perfect game or showing up the pitcher by admiring a home run. Against the rules, no. But it violates the unwritten rules and is impolite/disrespectful in the game of golf (where respect and politeness mean more than just about any other sport).

The weight of the cart can flatten out the grass a bit and mess with how putts roll. It ain’t cool.

It’s the equivalent of wearing golf cleats on the court in pickup basketball.

Okay, but people pay $300K for memberships to his golf course. If I invite you over to my house for Christmas and take a dump on the rug, sure it’s technically still my call, but I’m also a huge dick for doing so.

Can we just play through this Presidency?

“I wanted to give him a chance. He seemed like a real winner, but this has gone too far.” - At least one of my uncles.

Jared was in my house in college and, same. The intellectual equivalent of a 7:02 2000m.

Look at that shameful slob coming in second. Bet he wishes this photo never existed.

He’s the GOAT GOATSE of both Cross-Fit and pulling stuff out of his ass!

DTJ does a slightly modified Murph. It takes him about thirty five minutes to have his manservant bring a gun from his personal armory, get up, take the elevator down to the laundry, and shoot an undocumented Irish person.

You and roughly 67,999,999 other people. Roughly.