Did I read a different article than you did? The one I read was making fun of the company and their shitty sunscreen.

True. And yet...

since he has taught chefs in other restaurants how to make cocktail sauce and they were very grateful!

I have this vision of us younger generations when we become old people: pointlessly berating android servers for giving us the wrong coffee flavored beverage whose name fills half a page, pounding on the 3D Surgi-Vend Pro machine that ate their $20 but incorrectly implanted their new minicomputer chip, and in the…

THE ROSE PETAL INCIDENT IS EVERYTHING

My first restaurant job was at a Red Robin back in 1997. This was when Red Robin was still kind of fun. Now it’s a clown factory. But anyway. I waited on an elderly couple who did the following:

Which is why to most people the former smoker is the most boring person in the room

I quit in my early 20s, over 30 years ago. I still dream about the splendor of cigarettes. I loved smoking. So much. Plus, the 1970s and early 80s were still very smoking friendly.

Please never quit vamping. Good luck on cutting back on the vape life though.

Okay, so remember the guy who dumped me at his family reunion? About five months later, I stopped by for the ol’ picking-up-the-crap-you-left-at-your-ex’s-place-but-want-back visit. Now, he’d bought a house earlier that year, and while it was perfectly nice, he was doing a complete renovation. When we were together,…

Back when I was 18, after my mom had kicked me out of the house, I had an unfortunate habit of not having enough food to last me the entire week between my barely-over-minimum-wage job bagging groceries ($5 an hour at a time the minimum wage was four and a quarter.)

All I had left in the house was a gallon of milk—-so…

I got a wild hair one night to just start mixing stuff up in the kitchen, and figured I’d try to make some sort of fruit smoothie, or fruit sauce, or ... something. I really just decided to throw a bunch of stuff in a blender and see what happened.

Growing up, my friends and I spent a tremendous amount of time at a nearby private beach. Most nights were just, grab as much beer as you could carry and head down to see what was happening. Occasionally we planned ahead with a keg or some food, but ALWAYS the plan was to get blackout drunk. In a rare display of…

I’ve got about a dozen stories that I could share - including sitting w a client at dim sum as he toothpicked himself [horror] or the time I ate a pound or two of shrimp not knowing I needed to peel them - but here’s the one to beat yours. It’s unlikely anyone will read this post, but so be it. Didn’t happen to me,…

As a kid, I loved fruit leather, but referred to them as fruit roll-ups. I also was a hyper-active maniac, so I was generally going through life with skinned knees and elbows.

I once ate an entire wedge of brie knowing damn well it was brie

I had a spacey friend in high school who had gone to an Italian restaurant and been served bread and olive oil for the first time. She became obsessed with it, and one night we were at another friends house and she came down the stairs eating the very same concoction, or so we thought. Upon entering the kitchen, I…

Oh - I got this won.

She kicks you, you kick back. Law of the playground extends to air travel as well.