Bravo Doug. Another spot-on article with more humor than an entire late night routine. Though we need to send you something new to listen to. We all love Jimmy Eat World but how many months has that album been on repeat?

No one is going to stop talking about how big a piece of shit Floyd is.

I suspect I am still a teen, tbh.

"Guess which two people at this dinner table I've put my penis in?"

That's not the issue. The issue is the way the dog is jerking him around while he's pointing a loaded weapon at and around people. There is no shortage of other officers with guns drawn. There's no reason for him to be pointing a gun when he can't hold his aim or footing.

Thanks,

Pictured: Barack HUSSEIN Obama uses his Muslim powers to give entire islands The Gay to keep them from telling the truth about #BENGHAZI.

Weird one my aunt taught me re: strawberries.

Plain dark chocolate actually also works dipped in it. Thing is, it has to be Buitoni brand. Homemade and other brands don't quite have the same consistency and...more importantly...the right balance of salt taste to make it work.

That's fucked up. She wins.

My lunch typically consisted of a bean and cheese burrito, tater tots, and chocolate milk.

I do this too sometimes, and I can corroborate your assertion that people find this weird. A1 makes an excellent potato condiment as well, if you've not tried it.

When I was a big stoner...I found a combination that is so out of left field...yet worked really...uncomfortably...well:

I don't care for Helman's on fries but homemade is goooood.

i made and ate a frozen red baron pizza covered in pepperoni, bacon, doritos jacked (tm) brand ranch dipped hot wing chips, two cans of PBR, a copy of Bethesda's Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim and sriracha sauce

I eat the whole apple. My gf gags when she sees me eat the core. Is that weird? I feel like a lot of apple typically gets thrown away. I don't eat the seeds or stem. Just everything else

A friend of mine eats salami, swiss cheese and strawberry jelly sandwiches, "the jake".

My husband makes dip out of ketchup and cottage cheese with which to eat potato chips. I ate it to be nice when we were dating but it is totally vile.